In Maryland, the kids in my county just got out of school on June 15th, so their summer just started. But I’m craving football, like Paula Deen’s husband craves things deep-fried and injected with five sticks of butter. I need football back soon. Offseason or not, my black-and-gold brain is revved up like an engine at 24 Hours of Le Mans.
As always, I pass the ravings on to you. But first, I must inject you all with a syringe of sorries for the many improprieties I perpetuated last time around, and to the subsequent victims.
- Myself, for going to a Meatloaf concert and enjoying it.
- Not remembering the name of the girlfriend I sort of “Jack Trippered” at said concert.
- Failing to mention Meatloaf’s insane addiction to Fantasy Football.
- Two mentions of Chris Farley without realizing that the picture I inserted of the above-mentioned singer looks uncannily like the late comedy icon.
- The term “idiotic media-types”.
- Accusing Lev Bell of spewing verbal vomit.
- The body-shaming of James Washington.
- Any reference of Roseanne. Not because of the controversy, but because I just don’t like her.
- Carey Davis
Now for the latest edition of Random Thoughts From a Black-and-Gold Mind.
- Two months removed from the draft, and I wonder if the consensus has warmed to the selection of Terrell Edmunds as the Steelers’ first pick in the selection process. It’s kind of like when Journey added a Filipino dude to the lineup in 2007. There was uproar. I felt like I was listening to Casey Kasem imitating Lloyd Bentsen from the 1988 Vice-Presidential Debates, “I know Steve Perry. I’ve listened to Steve Perry since before he met up with Neil Schon and Jonathan Cain in 1977 and sir...you are no Steve Perry”. Then people heard buzz about Arnel Pineda and eleven years later...most fans are cool with him. After minicamp, the buzz about Edmunds is pretty decent and fan enthusiasm is increasing like my need for Tylonel after hosting a sleepover for my nine-year-old daughter and her friends. Look, he’s not Troy Polamalu, but he seems like he could have a Pineda-caliber tenure in Steel City. As long as he doesn’t quote another VP candidate, Admiral Tom Stockdale, with “Who am I? Why am I here?” in 1992...all will be well.
- I have no problem with Antonio Brown’s comments to the media last week. I see why he’s frustrated. But he’s been around long enough to know that the act of “blowing things out of proportion” and “manufacturing storylines” is what the media does. It’s kind of like paying an absurdly-low amount for a vacation and being shocked and annoyed that they are trying to get you into a timeshare. It comes with the territory.
- Ben Roethlisberger recently said that he won’t let his kids play football until after fifth grade. I wonder how many athlete’s would rather their kids not play football at all. I quit playing football after eighth grade to play drums in the marching band because they were going to Ireland. I’m definitely not ashamed of it. Remember Alyson Hannigan’s saucy stories of debauchery in band camp in American Pie? Let’s just say I never got a concussion and I’ve got some great stories surrounding co-ed band trips in the 1980s. There were more than a few Michelles marching around, if you know what I mean.
- Did I just brag about being a marching band Casanova? Good Gravy, what is wrong with me?
- I know it’s early, but Morgan Burnett could be the MVP of the defense. While also not Polamalu, No. 42 seems like he could be the Steelers’ Ronald Reagan...”the Great Communicator”.
- A part of me thinks the 2017 rookies could go down as a top-ten draft class. T.J. Watt and JuJu Smith-Schuster really did shine as freshman, while James Conner, Cam Sutton, Brian Allen and Keion Adams could emerge as valuable contributors in Year Two.
- I’m confused about the reports how Oakland fears Matavis Bryant may be suspended. Sure nothing has happened as of yet, but I’m a ”where there’s smoke, there’s fire” parent. That means allegations have me investigating diligently and expecting other shoes to drop. With that being said, I hope it isn’t true. But regardless of Bryant’s 2018, Kevin Colbert couldn’t pass up a third in that situation.
- My fear is that the lovable JuJu Smith-Schuster is too much like Ashton Kutcher’s Kelso in That 70’s Show. Donning protective gear and letting a police dog attack you is something you want your crazy buddy from high school doing, not your No. 2 wideout. If we get word that JJSS fell off a water tower every year in high school or rode a canoe being pulled by an El Camino amid flying sparks on city streets...start worrying.
- I think Tom Bradley will be the Steeler Defensive Coordinator by 2020.
- I wonder what Rick Woods is doing these days.
Untill next time, remember the words of the aforementioned “The Voice” Steve Perry in 1983’s “After The Fall”.
Can’t stop falling
Finds you after the fall
Saints or sinners
Take no prisoners
What’s left after you fall
Take that for what it’s worth, Don’t Stop Shalievin’ and Go Steelers.