clock menu more-arrow no yes

Filed under:

Steelers vs. Panthers Preseason Week 4: Bold and bizarre predictions for Carolina at Pittsburgh

New, comments

BTSC’s Nostradumbass predicts tonight’s final preseason game with the NFC South Carolina Panthers.

NFL: Tennessee Titans at Pittsburgh Steelers Charles LeClaire-USA TODAY Sports

It’s Week 4 of the preseason and members of Mike Tomlin’s team will all have different agendas. Some are looking to rest, get healthy, fine-tune their game for Week 1 and audition for other teams. After a promising showing in last week’s exhibition win at home, Steelers Nation will be getting their first look at Ryan Switzer and their final ganders at certain Black-and-gold hopefuls. Many guys like Matthew Thomas, Ola Adenyi, Malik Golden and Keion Adams will make their final push to make the team, while veterans like Tyler Matakevich, Daniel McCullers and L.J. Fort will be working to stay.

With all of these storylines and more, I’ve compiled a list of predictions (some basic and some utterly idiotic) to look for in tonight’s contest.

  • Joshua Dobbs will perform solidly with a touchdown pass and one rushing. It will all be a showcase for other teams looking for an upgrade at QB3.
  • Some yinzers will have high and unrealistic expectations of Dobbs’ worth and think he’s worth a three or a four in 2019. Others will form a higher opinion of him and call for his tenure to be extended over Mason Rudolph.
  • Ryan Switzer makes his Steeler debut and dazzles with long returns, but none for a score.
  • Getting a majority of the night’s carries, Jaylen Samuels does reach the end zone for the first time.
  • Meanwhile, Quadree Henderson and Fitzgerald Toussaint are seen updating their LinkedIn profiles in the third quarter.
  • Farrington Huguenin and Lavon Hooks both register a sack in a desperate attempt to crack the 53.
  • Le’Veon Bell drops a new rap track at halftime regarding his ETA to the Steel City called “Only I Know”.
  • R.J. Prince makes a drive-killing penalty forcing Craig Wolfley to openly weep the demise of his camp phenom on the radio broadcast.
  • Dashaun Phillips picks off a Panther passer.
  • To fire up a listless crowd in the third quarter, PA announcer Larry Richert invites fans to participate in a flossing dance-off on the big screen. Unable to contain himself, JuJu Smith-Shuster jumps in the stands to get his Fortnite funk on — and is incensed when he loses to a fourth grader from Cranberry Township.
  • The Steelers win 24-20 to close out the preseason at 3-1. However, there is no rejoicing.

...

Will any of this actually happen? I’ll bet at least one or two. Heck, maybe every one of them. Be sure to post your predictions — basic or bizarre — below.