Oh the 2018 Pittsburgh Steelers, Dysfunction’s Darlings. With the defenseless disaster against the Chiefs, the star receiver’s allegedly-excused absence, the runaway RB riding rotundly on a jet ski in a Miami, storm clouds surrounding the quarterback’s alleged affiliation with the president and a porn star in her upcoming literary debut and the media going more batty than Adam West’s closet — my black-and-gold brain is lobotomy bound. So as always, I pass the ravings on to you.
But first a Lobester-fest of lament goes out to and for the follow transgressions from a week ago.
- Labeling (plagiarism at its’ finest) my @btscbad Twitter followers as my #minyinz. Still only 38, if we got to 300...there’s a prize drawing. (Sorry, It’s not an autographed 8x10 of Tony Defeo),
- Mentioning Manson followers with no Squeaky.
- Not enough Necessary Roughness references.
- Hall and Oates
- Leaving Danny Devito out of the War of the Roses reference
- Completely butchering the plot of a Family Ties episode for the sole purpose of including a photo of Gina Davis and Michael J. Fox.
- Plugging books of non-Steelers.
- James Conner’s hair stylist
- The Road Warrior
- Bruno Mars
Now the latest edition of Random Thoughts from a Black-and-gold Mind.
- Like Bryan Cranston’s Walter White in the legendary A&E series Breaking Bad, I fear that Antonio Brown is slowly drifting into a level of madness that he may never recover from. His Thursday meeting with the media was evidence of that.
- I had no problem with AB’s response to a former team-staffer’s douchey tweet that was nothing but bait for No. 84. It had nothing to with wanting traded. I’m not going to give this clown any more publicity by electronically printing his name, but I feel like he caused a lot of unneeded drama. And he was wrong, to boot. Way to hide behind your keyboard pal.
- Seriously though. I’m not concerned about AB at all. He’s still going to perform. It’s the Defense/ST that have me back in the Burger King Drive-thru with a vengeance.
- I don’t know if it was the elbow, but despite his stats, Ben Roethlisberger overthrew a lot of open guys. This team needs a sharper BB for it to succeed.
- A future president, an NFL quarterback and a porn star walk in a bar. I have a feeling that no one will be laughing at the punchline of this one. I’m going to try to abstain from commenting any further on this story.
- I’m not a sports agent, but I’ve seen most of Arliss and Ballers on HBO and I’ve been to the theater multiple times to see Jerry McGuire (I had a lot of one-and-done first dates in 1996-97). That still doesn’t make me an authority on how to counsel athletes. But I think that if I did have a client currently withholding his services from an NFL franchise, I’d advise him not to appear on social media looking like Ving Rhames on a jet ski. I’m definitely starting to think that Week 10 might not even happen for a Peaches and Herb-style reunion between Le’Veon Bell and the Steelers.
- I think, at this point, Steelers Nation is becoming more and more okay with the prospect of the above scenario.
- Terrell Edmunds is a rookie with a mere two games of NFL experience in the regular season, but he looks exposed out there. Maybe he’s been thrown to the wolves too early and needs to incubate more at this level, but don’t label him yet. Remember a guy named Troy and another named Cam needed some seasoning before they ultimately flourished. Tom Bradley needs to work some magic with No. 34.
- When it comes to the Tight End position in Pittsburgh, the Steelers are like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz, they are searching for something that they don’t think that they possess. Jesse James has the smarts, the hearts and no fear. Like Frank Morgan’s Wizard character said, “Everything you were looking for was right there with you all along.” The same could be said about No. 81.
- Just like against the Chiefs, I would take the over this week for MNF in Tampa.
- Speaking of MNF, not having to listen to Jon Gruden has my Monday made already.
- We know about “the Killer Bees”. How about a new stable label for a trio on the offense. Jesse, Conner and Washington should be known as “the James Gang.” I’ll work up the t-shirt tonight.
- The Steelers are pretty happy with their top-reserve on the offensive line, B.J. Finney. While Josh Dobbs is an actual rocket scientist, No. 67’s full name suggests that he should be the one with the big degree...Benjamin Isaac J Finney II.
- I was in the crowd at Heinz Field on Sunday and I might possibly have been the only person rooting for Pittsburgh in attendance who wasn’t booing Jordan Berry. Not sure how the tryouts will shake out this week, but if Berry makes it onto the charter flight to Florida, he’ll need the punting performance of his life, or else those Disney angels that help down-and-out players survive and thrive. If you happen to see a couple of orphans following No. 4 around on the sidelines, then you’ll know that everything will be just fine.
- Oh no! Just checked my local listings and the reboot of Magnum PI is on opposite the Steelers this week. Football wins out, but it’s going to be tough to have to wait until Tuesday.
- I wonder what Tyler Grisham is doing these days.
Until next time, I ask you to ponder the significance of the lyrics to Pink’s rambunctious single So What? and just how this might pertain to the 2018 Steelers:
So, so what?
I’m still a rock star
I got my rock moves
And I don’t need you
And guess what
I’m having more fun
And now that we’re done
I’m gonna show you tonight
I’m alright, I’m just fine
And you’re a tool
So, so what?
I am a rock star
I got my rock moves
And I don’t want you tonight
Uh, check my flow, uh
Take that for what it’s worth, Go Steelers and Don’t Stop Shalievin’.