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Steelers vs. Buccaneers, Week 3: Bold and Bizarre Predictions for Monday’s tangle in Tampa

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BTSC’s Nostradumbass predicts the Steelers’ contest on MNF with the Tampa Bay Bucs.

NFL: Kansas City Chiefs at Pittsburgh Steelers Philip G. Pavely-USA TODAY Sports

The Steelers post-loss Bizarro World continued last week with jet skis, porn star allegations, pledges to water-down the defensive playbook and a poutfest which was more bizarre than Ozzfest.

With all of these storylines, and more, I’ve compiled a list of predictions (some basic, and some utterly idiotic) to look for in the Week-3 contest:

  • The watered-down game plan for the defense isn’t a fix-all, but it offers up some improvement.
  • James Conner rebounds with a 100-yard performance, Mike Evans and DeSean Jackson stay hot, but TE OJ Howard fails to get the free release that Travis Conner does a week ago.
  • Already in Florida, Le’Veon Bell jet skis from Miami and debuts his latest single, “Bloated When I $hould Be Loaded” from the giant ship in the end zone at RayJay.
  • Antonio Brown exceptionalism comes into full focus with a red-hot performance with double-digit catches for more than 150 yards, but he stays ice cold with reporters after the game.
  • Jason Pierre-Paul harasses Ben Roethlisberger continuously and records multiple sacks on the soon-to-be literary character.
  • JuJu Smith-Schuster, on the 242nd anniversary of Nathan Hale’s execution during the Revolutionary War, does a TD celebration in tribute to the alleged spy and is quoted as saying, “I only regret that I have but one celebration to perform for my country.”
  • True to his Tuesday presser proclamation, Mike Tomlin keeps his word and paints nothing with a broad brush.
  • Ryan Fitzpatrick becomes the only player to throw for 400 yards and four TDs in three games.
  • Fitzpatrick wears the gimp suit (complete with red ball in mouth) from Pulp Fiction to the post-game presser.
  • Take the “over” on the score and also on the number of Stormy Daniels-related signs.
  • Final score: Steelers 38 Bucs 28

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Will any of this actually happen? I’ll bet at least one or two. Heck, maybe every one of them. Be sure to post your predictions — basic or bizarre — below.