clock menu more-arrow no yes

Filed under:

10 Things I Think I Thought while not waiting for the Pro Bowl

New, comments

The dreaded Pro Bowl is just hours away, and I have some thoughts while not watching the dud of a football game.

NFL: Pro Bowl-AFC Practice Kirby Lee-USA TODAY Sports

Still disappointed, and still thinking.

  1. My father, who along with my mother, was at Forbes Field for game 7 in 1960, used to say he lost interest in baseball while watching Rennie Stennett “dribble” a baseball, on his way out to 2nd base, on the artificial turf at Three Rivers. There is only one thing I can imagine that could kill my interest in the NFL- the Steelers moving. Based on early responses to my most recent piece arguing that the sky isn’t falling, I may be alone. I was quite surprised to see so much waning interest.
  2. I think the NFL has done an outstanding job creating just the right amount of parody. Coach-speak is pretty funny. The self-absorbed wide-receiver trope, the out of shape kicker cliche (I’m looking at you Janikowski). And don’t get me started on owners who know just enough football to destroy the hopes of their respective cities.
  3. One moment. Am being told the NFL seeks parity, not parody. Truth be told, they do well here too. Very few perennial bottom dwellers, very few consistently upper echelon (and hooray for us that we fit in this category) and a great deal of rising and falling in between.
  4. Off the field I wish every Steeler visited hospitals (on time), gave back to hometown athletic programs, volunteered in soup kitchens. But I’d be satisfied if they’d just stay off the police blotters and off social media.
  5. On the field I want them all to have the cold, black heart of Jack Lambert. But with the smile of Joe Haden.
  6. I will check out the Alliance of American Football. Of course the skill level will be a downgrade. But that doesn’t stop most of us from watching college, or even high school football. It’s football, and they’ll be playing when no one else is. That is the sum of their allure, and it’s enough to get me to take a look. I wish I had a Mauler’s jersey.
  7. Mark my words- a very Brady retirement is coming one day. I just hope he doesn’t ride off into the sunset with one for each of his thumbs.
  8. My beautiful wife not only patiently listens to me read these columns before they are posted, but listens to me explain the finer points, like who the Maulers were and what “one for each of his thumbs” means.
  9. I’m not enough of a draftnik to have watched any of the all-star games. That said, I am the proud owner of a genuine, game worn 2006 Hula Bowl jersey. I was there. I even participated in a golf outing with a passel of prior Heisman winners including Tony Dorsett. The highlight of that trip though was watching, in the morning Hawaii time, the Steelers maul the Broncos to earn a trip to Super Bowl XL.
  10. Maybe the Rams could sign Eli.