Let’s skip the gristle and get straight to the steak. I hate the New England Patriots. I don’t hate them with the white hot intensity of a thousand suns and don’t wish death, IBS or irreversible erectile dysfunction on them. Okay...maybe the ED, but I hate them like I hate Bradley Cooper for being cool and chicks digging him. So basically...I’m jealous of the team that has been so dominant in the AFC for nearly twenty years now.
Now I realize proud yinzers won’t recognize the jealousy I write of, but I’ve got to be honest. We call them cheaters every chance we get for good reason, they did. But the Steelers of the glorious 70s were reportedly fast and loose with rules regarding the alleged introduction of steroids and illegal padded practices. The bottom line is that both teams knew or know the knack for winning and that rubs everyone else the wrong way.
Fast forward to 2019 and the Steelers don’t seem to have that winning knack anymore, but the Pats do and we hate them for it. What is it that drives us and fan bases of 30 other teams nuts?
Let’s take a look.
They seem to get big and suspicious calls go there way at the right time.
This bit the Steelers twice in 2017 when reversals on sure TDs were awarded to New England twice and cost the Steelers home-field advantage and the AFC’s top seed. Twice you ask? Yes. The same thing happened when Austin Sefarian-Jenkins of the Jets seemingly had a score in Week 6 of that year. The Jets had a win ripped from their grasps much like the Steelers did. Also, the phantom calls last week in the AFC Championship Game was egregious as well.
Just when you think that they’ve run their course, they rise from the ashes
How does this team keep finding ways to win? They constantly pick late in the draft, other GMs let Belichick fleece them for talent and they make more magic than Doug Henning, David Blaine and David Copperfield combined. Also their division mates are disasters and that’s usually five or six easy wins there. Most teams don’t get the breaks these guys do and take so much longer to revive.
Sure Steeler Nation has been known to brag and ruffle feathers, but nobody does it quite like New Englanders. They refuse to hold their franchise accountable. The excuses for Spygate and Deflategate were masterpieces of passing the buck and refusing to acknowledge wrong doing. Plus the nauseating use of “28 to 3”, “you hate us, cause you ain’t us” and GOAT are so fatiguing. I do know a very cool Patriot fan that doesn’t do this, but those examples are rare.
They constantly make superstars out of suspects
Wes Walker. Danny Amendola. LeGarrette Blount. Julian Edelman. Chris Hogan. Malcom Butler. The list can go on and on. Belichick’s system makes mountains out of moles. It’s kind of incredible. However, these guys (namely Edelman) get egos the size of Andre the Giant and it isn’t endearing. It’s a true testament to how good the culture is there when these guys move on and are a shell of their Patriot selves.
The “Us Against The World” mentality
When the Pats came back to beat the Falcons in Super Bowl XLI, Bob Kraft took the podium and threw it in the face of Commissioner Roger Goodell that the Patriots overcame all kinds of adversity and intimated the Pats were persecuted by the league and the world. They maintain this stance til this very day, even though it seems like the league goes out of their way to offer up advantages.
Tom Brady is not the primary bread winner in his family
Really... kudos to that guy for landing a wife like that. But it allows him to sign for less and not worry about a thing. It‘s just another thing that just doesn’t seem fair though.
They own the Steelers
The Steelers did actually beat them this year, but 11-4 against Pittsburgh in the BB era is pure domination.
Is all of this sour grapes by me? Of course. But the Patriots continue to remind me of the rich kid in a John Highes film that doesn’t receive his or her comeuppance in the end...ever. You know that frenemy in the office that gets promoted over you because they are scrogging the boss or their uncle golfs with the CEO? That’s the Patriots. My only solace remains that there is a prime reservation in Hell that reads Belichick. Because he obviously made some kind of deal with the devil and he’s going to want to collect soon.