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Steelers vs. Cardinals, Week 14: Bold and Bizarre predictions for Steelers visit to Arizona

Much to the chagrin of most, BTSC’s Nostradumbass predicts the Steelers’ matchup with Arizona.

Arizona Cardinals v Pittsburgh Steelers

The Steelers roll into Pittsburgh West after beating a team that many didn’t think they could. In a game that they are favored, some are afraid that this could be an Admiral Ackbar special and be a trap. However, the Steelers are much maligned on offense and in no way is any member of this team playing down to their competition.

Can Devlin Hodges keep it going? Will the Steelers win again without JuJu Smith-Schuster and James Conner? Will the 19 game streak of the Steelers committing a turnover continue? With these questions, story lines, and more, I’ve compiled a list of predictions (some basic, and some utterly idiotic) to look for in this pivotal contest.

Last week, I was correct on the Joe Haden interception. I was close on the strip sack, but credited it to the wrong player (Watt instead of Dupree) and close on Hodges’ stats. Thankfully, I was wrong on the outcome and final score.

  • Although the weather will be beautiful, the stadium will look like Heinz Field.
  • Bennie Snell Jr. starts making a claim for RB1 with a performance that eclipses 100 yards on the ground and a touchdown.
  • Despite the fact that he’s not playing, a street-clothed JuJu Smith-Schuster still celebrates a Steelers TD by commemorating the 67th anniversary of the subject of pregnancy being broached on television during an episode of “I Love Lucy”. To do that, No. 19 mimes birthing a baby delivered by Dr. Ramon Foster.
  • The Steelers’ defense shuts down the Cardinals offense for the most part, but Kyler Murray still finds a way to score twice (once in the air and another with his legs) on the first anniversary of his Heisman win.
  • Zach Banner continues to be ignored as a target while reporting as an eligible receiver.
  • However, the Steelers take advantage of the Cardinals ineptitude against tight ends and Vance McDonald ends with eight catches for 78 yards and a score.
  • With the Jets in Miami, Le’Veon Bell again tells his teammates he’s going to go out and get some air and that he’ll be right back. But this time, he meant the dry air of Phoenix There he commemorates tomorrow’s 39 death anniversary of John Lennon with his hip-hop version of “Watching The Wheels”. The only people to really notice are confused patron’s of a Steeler dive called “Charley’s Place” in Glendale where the performance takes place.
  • Steven Nelson records his first interception as a Steeler.
  • After sacking Baker Mayfield in Week 11 five times, the Steelers struggle to sack Murray, getting him only three times.
  • Having already surpassed thirteen players on the all-time ledger this season, T.J. Watt continues his dominance with two sacks to pass up Clark Haggans for sole possession of 11th in Steeler lore with 34.5 total and 14.5 on the season. This leaves him a sack shy of tying Lawrence Timmons and Kevin Greene for ninth and two away from the 2008 single-season mark owned by James Harrison.
  • Duck Hodges throws for 265 yards with two TDs and a pick.
  • The Steelers will end up having to put up points, and they do so with three TDs and three field goals. The Steelers prevail 30-20.

Will any of this actually happen? I’ll bet at least one or two. Heck, maybe every one of them. Be sure to post your predictions — basic or bizarre — below.