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Steelers vs. Panthers, Preseason Week 4: Bold and Bizarre predictions for Pittsburgh vs. Carolina

Much to the chagrin of most, BTSC’s Nostradumbass predicts the Steelers’ second preseason game of 2019 vs. the Panthers.

Pittsburgh Steelers v Tennessee Titans

The Steelers travel away from Heinz Field again tonight to take on their annual Preseason Week 4 foe, the Carolina Panthers. As always, some questions will be answered, while some remain a mystery. Who will save their position in Pittsburgh? Who will blow their shot? Will anyone suffer the Malik Golden trauma by getting injured much in the same way the PSU safety did the previous two years vs. Carolina? Who will play well enough for a ticket to another city? With these questions, storylines, and more, I’ve compiled a list of predictions (some basic, and some utterly idiotic) to look for in this preseason contest:

  • Unslated to dress, JuJu begs the coaching staff for playing time to work on his game. Not his actual playing, but his TD celebration.
  • The coaches fail to comply with his wishes.
  • Joshua Dobbs has a solid showing solidifying his spot and ruining the financial plans of Pittsburgh street vendors that loaded up on “Duck Dynasty #6” duck callers.
  • Tuzar Skipper...two more sacks.
  • Joe Haden, in a sideline interview with Missi Matthews, voices his hope that a new deal will be done soon. This is the most compelling drama of the night.
  • Kicker Matthew Wright and Punter Ian Berryman get all of their respective duties in hopes of auditioning for another team.
  • Daring the Steelers not to cut him, Diontae Spencer breaks off a punt return for six.
  • Fred Johnson plays the entire game solidifying a roster spot.
  • Le’Veon Bell skips out of the Jets game to sing...I think it’s time to retire this joke already.
  • The Steelers go 4-0 in the preseason with a 19-16 win.
  • The media attempts to hound Mike Tomlin into any roster spoilers fall flat, but Coach T unveils a new “Tomlinism”.

Will any of this actually happen? I’ll bet at least one or two. Heck, maybe every one of them. Be sure to post your predictions — basic or bizarre — below.