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Steelers vs. 49ers, Week 3: Bold and Bizarre predictions for Steelers at 49ers

Much to the chagrin of most, BTSC’s Nostradumbass predicts the Steelers’ return to the road to visit the Niners.

Pittsburgh Steelers v San Francisco 49ers

The Steelers travel to San Fran as they try to drown out the noise and win for the first time in 2019.. Many questions arose after the crazy occurrences of the last week. With that being said...Will James Conner jump start the running game? What early return comes from the Minkah Fitzpatrick deal? Will Donte Moncrief ever see the field again? How will Mason Rudolph do with a full week of practice? Will Diontae Johnson be KR1/PR1 over Ryan Switzer. Will the Steelers give us all a San Francisco treat?

With these questions, story lines, and more, I’ve compiled a list of predictions (some basic, and some utterly idiotic) to look for in this preseason contest:

  • Steelers fans wonder why Levi’s gets a stadium when everybody knows that Rustlers and Toughskins are much better blue jeans at a thrifty price.
  • James Conner rushes 24 times for 90 yards on the day.
  • Mason Rudolph throws for under 250 yards on the day, but records two TDs on the afternoon.
  • Listening to Yinzers say “Rude-aff” all afternoon proves to be quality entertainment.
  • The Steelers record three sacks on the day and Minkah Fitzpatrick records a Steelers interception.
  • JuJu Smith-Schuster scores a TD and celebrates Joan Jett’s 60th birthday by stuffing dimes in Ramon Foster’s chinstrap. The Big Ragu responds by belting out “I Love Rock and Roll” in true jukebox fashion.
  • Since the Jets play has been dead as of late, Le’Veon Bell hires Terry Kiser to reprise his role as Bernie Lomax in 1989’s Weekend At Bernie’s. Kiser, in a Jets 26 jersey, gets toted around the field by Jets’ linemen as the RB jets off to San Fran to perform his rap version of “I’m Still Standing” to confused commuters and tourists on a Frisco cable car.
  • The Steelers and Niners go to OT where Chris Boswell wins it for the road dogs.
  • Coach Mike Tomlin unveils a new catch-phrase during the post-game presser. In other news, Jeff Hartman copyrights the phrase in hopes of turning it into another best-selling t-shirt in the BTSC online store.

Will any of this actually happen? I’ll bet at least one or two. Heck, maybe every one of them. Be sure to post your predictions — basic or bizarre — below.