The Steelers will either rebound from their first loss of the late season last week or prove the haters right, as they travel to Buffalo in Week 14. I’ve compiled a list of predictions (some basic, and some utterly idiotic) to look for in this contest.
Last week, I came close, but ultimately whiffed on most of my predictions. Let’s see if I can rebound this week.
- Boujee Smith-Schuster, upset that he won’t get a chance to show the idiotic members of Bills Mafia that he’s a crazier partier than any of them, is seen in the Buffalo Bills Stadium parking lot wearing a Steelers luchador mask, drinking hooch out of a bowling ball and diving through a flaming table. Unfortunately, his body weight isn’t enough to break the table and let’s just say there’s not much worse of an aroma than the smell of burnt dog hair.
- Ray Ray = TD
- James Washington with a score too.
- The offensive line keeps Ben clean again for the sixth straight game of no sacks.
- Speaking of clean, Eric Ebron and Dionte Johnson keep the football in their hands and not on the ground with no drops.
- Bills quarterback Josh Allen is compared to Ben Roethlisberger at least 70 times.
- Steelers fans flood comment sections and message boards feverishly with claims that Cris Collinsworth hates the Steelers. That can’t be further from the truth as it is forgotten that the NBC color analyst is a national treasure,
- Stefon Diggs torches the Steelers for 111 yards and scores twice.
- Dawson Knox, Buffalo’s tight end, has a big night.
- Ben throws three touchdowns on the evening, with 1 interception. All in all, he throws over 50 passes again.
- JuJu Smith-Schuster catches one of those TD passes and because he can’t think of anything appropriate to do to commemorate the 17th anniversary of the capture of Saddam Hussein in Tikrit, the 202nd birth anniversary of Mary Todd Lincoln and Taylor Swift’s 31st birthday...JuJu celebrates his score by putting steel chains around his neck, writing the word “thump’ on the back of his game pants, head butting Tradavious White and barking like a dog to celebrate the 68th birth anniversary of Sylvester Ritter a.k.a. Hall of Fame wrestler, the Junkyard Dog.
- Vance McDonald is targeted scores his first touchdown of the season.
- A man wearing a custom Steelers Kylo Ren is spotted camped-out at the Steelers’ hotel waiting on inside linebackers coach Jerry Olsavsky. Citing his experience as a championship-winning high school coach and his experience as a safety (that can play up in college)...lobbies for a starting spot at ILB and even offers to wear the green dot. Tempted by this offer, Jerry O realizes that he can’t sign the BTSC writer due to the 5-day COVID waiting period and questions how the writer of Clerks would go over as a linebacker. Back in Maryland, a certain co-editor is heard yelling, “Honey! We’ve got to get better locks”.
- The Steelers rack up five sacks. T.J. Watt takes Josh Allen down twice. Cam Heyward, Mike Hilton and Alex Highsmith all get one.
- Steven Nelson, two interceptions.
- The Steelers win a tough one 27-24 with a late Boswell kick from 49 yards.
Will any of this actually happen? I’ll bet at least one or two. Heck, maybe every one of them. Be sure to post your predictions — basic or bizarre — below.