The Steelers will either rebound from their second loss of the late season last week or prove the haters right, as they travel to Cincy in Week 15 on MNF. I’ve compiled a list of predictions (some basic, and some utterly idiotic) to look for in this contest.
Last week, I came close, but ultimately whiffed on most of my predictions. Let’s see if I can rebound this week.
- Boujee Smith-Schuster gets into a bad batch of Cincinnati-style chili and is banned from the locker room with a disturbing case of intestinal distress.
- Ray-Ray McCloud finally reaches the end zone.
- Diontae Johnson leaves his “drop hands” behind and has eleven catches for 130 yards on the night.
- The offensive line keeps Ben Roethlisberger clean by giving up no sacks.
- Bengals quarterback Ryan Finley is sacked 7 times by the Steelers defense. T.J. Watt gets three of them.
- Injured Bengals quarterback Joe Burrow is mentioned 70 times during the broadcast. Burrow is sacked only twice.
- Roethlisberger throws three touchdowns on the evening, with 1 interception. All in all, he throws over 50 passes, again.
- JuJu Smith-Schuster catches one of those TD passes and celebrates by passing out glasses filled with lemon-lime soda and cherry juice to his teammates. He then goes into his own rendition of “The Good Ship Lollipop” to commemorate the 87th anniversary of Fox Films signing of five-year star Shirley Temple on this date in history.
- The running game is somewhat revitalized by an 80-yard effort by Jaylen Samuels.
- A man wearing a custom Steelers Kylo Ren is spotted at Paul Brown Stadium in the third quarter putting cardboard cutouts of Bengals fans on the “esca-loser”. There is no arrest or chase because nobody in Cincinnati cares.
- Meanwhile back in Crafton, BTSC’s Tony Defeo is disheartened to learn that WKRP in Cincinnati was fictional. At least he has clarity on why his letters to Bailey Quarters were never answered.
- Mike Hilton and Minkah Fitzpatrick get the Steelers interceptions.
- The Steelers win 28-10 and clinch the AFC North.
Will any of this actually happen? I’ll bet at least one or two. Heck, maybe every one of them. Be sure to post your predictions — basic or bizarre — below.