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What could have been: Bold and Bizarre predictions for a Steelers vs. 49ers Super Bowl

Much to the chagrin of most, BTSC’s Nostradumbass predicts what would have happened if the Steelers’ would have miraculously found their way into the Super Bowl.

Pittsburgh Steelers v San Francisco 49ers Photo by Daniel Shirey/Getty Images

I get it, the Steelers didn’t make the playoffs in 2019 after a bizarre and snake bitten season. I also realize that there is no point to this article whatsoever and it’s a waste of time. But it’s only a waste of my time. You can’t complain if you clicked on it. BTSC and the author can’t be held responsible if your curiosity led you to read my attempt at humor and fulfilling a quota. Wait, I’m over my quota. I just would rather delve into fantasy than dig deep into how many tackles Joey Bosa gets or if Travis Kelce out duels George Kittle.

I will give you some reality and pick the actual final score down below. But sit back, have some fun and imagine what was never going to be for a moment.

  • James Conner leads all Steelers rushers with 131 total yards.
  • Diontae Johnson records eight receptions to lead the Steelers on the day.
  • JuJu Smith-Schuster scores a second quarter touchdown on 2/2 and runs into the tunnel. He re-emerges to the sounds of Ramon Foster crooning “I Got You Babe”, sees his shadow and promises six more weeks of winter.
  • Not understanding why the NFL this allowed him to join Jennifer Lopez and Shakira on stage for the Halftime extravaganza, Miami resident Le’Veon Bell celebrates the 97th anniversary of gasoline first being sold by performing his hip-hop version of Billy Joel “We Didn’t Start The Fire” at a Dade County Sunoco in front of confused fuel patrons and a disinterested cashier. To make matters more interesting, all of the lyrics chronicled things that happened in Bell’s life.
  • T.J. Watt sacks Jimmy G. three for a safety and one for a strip sack and a touchdown.
  • Zach Banner catches his first, and only, pass this season for a touchdown.
  • Joe Haden Interception in the end zone as time expires seals the game.
  • Mason Rudolph throws for 260 yards and two scores, including the game-winner to Vance McDonald with two minutes remaining.
  • The Steelers lift the Lombardi for their record seventh time by a score of 29-28. T.J. Watt is named the MVP.
  • Back to reality. Patrick Mahomes is the MVP for leading the Chiefs to a 41-31 win.

Will any of this actually happen? Absolutely not! Well maybe the actual score with the correct and official opponents. Be sure to post your predictions and your criticism of this ridiculously, unnecessary waste of time — basic or bizarre — below.