**Disclaimer. Although this site is focused on Steelers news and commentary, the subject of Roethlisberger‘s beard has been a fun, ongoing topic among fans. Please enjoy the following article in jest.**
In a statement prepared today, Ben Roethlisberger‘s beard has broken his silence and issued a response to his current controversies highlighted by many both within and beyond of the sports world.
“I would first like to thank Mr. Roethlisberger for the amazing opportunity I’ve had over the last eight months,” Roethlisberger’s beard stated. “Although my initial role within the Steelers organization was to bring comfort to Mr. Roethlisberger during his time of rehabilitation, I understand my current actions have been both controversial and selfish. Over the last several months, I have entered a downward spiral in which I was out of control. As I continued to do my part for Mr. Roethlisberger and his family, I felt had my actions continued, it would be of no benefit for either the Roethlisberger family, the Pittsburgh Steelers, or their fanbase.
“As promised, my agreement with Mr. Roethlisberger was to step out of the limelight once he was able to resume significant football activities which included throwing a football at an NFL standard. With Mr. Roethlisberger hitting this milestone in recent days, I thought it was time for me to step back from my place as the face of Roethlisberger’s rehab and fulfill the role for which I was originally assigned.
“I would also like to recognize those others who are a part of our team that have operated both in a reserve role as well as those completely behind the scenes. I would like to thank Mr. Roethlisberger’s hair in its support of this quest as it has been by my side throughout the entire process. I would also like to mention, not necessarily by name, the other follicles of Mr. Rothlisberger who have done a fantastic job in support throughout this process. Although you were operating out of sight, it would not be fair had I failed to mention your support throughout this ordeal.
“Since I began spiraling more and more out of control, I felt that any opportunity to improve myself would be welcomed by the public. Unfortunately, my actions were deemed both reckless and selfish by many. I would like to apologize to Mr. Roethlisberger, the Pittsburgh Steelers, and anyone who may have been offended by my selfish act of self-improvement. I would also like to apologize to Mr. Norman who, as a personal favor, put himself on the line for me and my well-being.
“When I burst onto the scene several months ago, I never imagined being where I am today. As days went on, my popularity, although often negative, continued to grow. But as newsworthy as I have become, I never imagined the steps taken to better myself would draw attention from so much more of the national media than my initial rugged and unkempt persona. I would like to apologize to any of those whom I offended in either my natural or more perfected state.”
It is unclear at this time if we will ever hear from Roethlisberger’s beard in this manner again. It is our hope, along with the majority of Steelers’ Nation, that Roethlisberger‘s beard can continue in his quest for self-improvement without further controversy.