Steelers vs. Lions, Week 10: Bold and Bizarre predictions for Lions at Steelers

After a controversial win over Chicago on Monday Night Football, the Steelers are back at home and looking to extend their winning streak to five with a contest including the winless Detroit Lions in the second of back-to-back NFC North games. Of course, there are many questions to be answered. With inquiries, story lines, and more, I’ve compiled a list of predictions (some basic, and some utterly idiotic) to look for in this opening contest.

Last week, I came close, but ultimately whiffed on most of my predictions. Let’s see if I can rebound this week.

• Boujee Smith-Schuster, angered that the Lions D’Andre Smith refused to provide his DNA to complete a 23 and Me to prove that they are nineteenth cousins due to the common surnames they share, pees all over the Detroit team bus. JuJu’s pooch doesn’t post bail until the third quarter.
• I know this is shocking, but I am making the boldest of predictions. Ben Roethlisberger surprisingly doesn’t play due to being placed on the Covid list.
• Instead of Mason Rudolph or Dwayne Haskins, the Steelers find a way to borrow Devlin “Duck” Hodges, who...Sorry can’t do it.
• Rudolph gets the start and because the Lions had no time to prepare for No. 2, throws for 268 yards and two touchdown passes against one pick.
• Former Steelers OC Randy Fichtner, watching the game out home, arrives at Heinz Field and claims that he guided Mason through his greatest games and should get a chance to call the Week 10 game against the Lions. Upon hearing this claim, security shuts down Randyland immediately.
• Chris Boswell Kicks two field goals, one from 54 yards for his sixth 50-plusser on the year.
• Pressley Harvin III fails to live up to his reputation of a shankapotamus with a stellar game punting.
• With Chase Claypool joining JuJu Smith-Schuster on the sidelines, Rudolph has no choice but to continuously go to his trio of tight ends. Eric Ebron, Zach Gentry and Pat Freiermuth combine for 14 catches and only one drop.
• Muth scores again for his fifth TD of the year and third in as many games and celebrates the 57th birthday of the guy who played Puddy on Seinfeld, Patrick Warburton, by putting on a leather jacket with a giant eight ball on the back and offering high fives to his teammates and pleading to them in a bass voice to not leave him hanging.
• Najee Harris gains 110 yards on the ground and 22 as a receiver out of the backfield and scores on the ground and through the air.
• Minkah Fitzpatrick picks off Jared Goff and so does Joe Haden, who takes it to the house for a pick-six.
• T.J. Watt gets 4.5 sacks and the Steelers only manage 4.5 sacks on the on the day. The sack streak stretches to five and Trent Jordan ties James Harrison’s single-season sack record of 14.
• Definitely not a blowout, but the Steelers beat the Lions 27-17 to extend the win streak to five games.

Will any of this actually happen? I’ll bet at least one or two. Heck, maybe every one of them. Be sure to post your predictions — basic or bizarre — below.