After a road loss in Week 11 to the Los Angeles Chargers, the Steelers are back on the road in Cincinnati looking to avenge the early season loss to the Bengals. It is that time of the week when I start to look at what will happen during the game. I’ve compiled a list of predictions (some basic, and some utterly idiotic) to look for in this opening contest.
Last week, I came close, but ultimately whiffed on most of my predictions. Let’s see if I can rebound this week.
- Determined not to get into any trouble this week, Boujee Smith-Schuster decides to get lunch at Skyline Chili. Unimpressed, he throws the bowl against the wall and bellows, “I didn’t order spaghetti”. JuJu’s pooch doesn’t post bail until the Fourth Quarter. What Boujee needs is to taste the award-winning chili prepared by a certain Podcast Producer at BTSC.
- With Zach Banner entering the game in the second quarter, Ben Roethlisberger is sacked only twice on the afternoon, but that was before Hulk put on a helmet and walked onto the field. No. 7 throws for 280 yards and three scores against no picks.
- Former Steelers OC Randy Fichtner is not allowed entrance into Paul Brown Stadium and misses the game when he can’t find WKRP anywhere on the radio.
- Diontae Johnson catches one of those TD passes from Ben and proceeds to welcome Sir Elton John in the end zone to perform three songs to commemorate the 47th anniversary of Captain Fantastic inviting John Lennon on stage to do the same. The excessive celebration penalty was well worth it.
- The Steelers hold onto the football.
- Pressley Harvin goes shankless on the day again.
- Pat Freiermuth catches ten balls and grabs his fifth touchdown in the last five games. *Note: Not in consecutive games.
- Najee Harris gains 120 yards on the ground and scores twice.
- The Steelers defense knocks Tyler Boyd into next week. I don’t know why.
- T.J. Watt gets 3 sacks of Joe Burrow.
- Cue (or is it que) up the esca-loser, the Steelers do not quit and beat the Bungles 34-33.
Will any of this actually happen? I’ll bet at least one or two. Heck, maybe every one of them. Be sure to post your predictions — basic or bizarre — below.