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Steelers vs. Bears, Week 9: Bold and Bizarre predictions for Steelers vs. Bears

Much to the chagrin of most, BTSC’s Nostradumbass predicts the Steelers’ matchup against the Bears on Monday Night Football

NFL: SEP 24 Steelers at Bears Photo by Robin Alam/Icon Sportswire via Getty Images

With the Steelers closing out Week 9 on MNF, there are a lot of things that can happen. Last week, I came close, but ultimately whiffed on most of my predictions. Let’s see if I can rebound this week.

  • Boujee Smith-Schuster tailgates all day doing Jaeger Bombs in the Heinz Field parking lot with fellow yinzers. With the Chicago Bears coming to down, JuJu’s pooch claims he could beat up a bear cub and sneaks into the Pittsburgh Zoo looking for a fight. Boujee doesn’t post bail until the second quarter.
  • Ben Roethlisberger is sacked only once on the afternoon. No. 7 throws for 278 yards and three scores against Chicago and is clean throwing the ball to the right-colored jersey.
  • Former Steelers OC Randy Fichtner starts his new job at the Heinz Field Primanti Bros. It’s a good fit because of the legendary local chain only offers two choices (Pittsburgher and Cap & Cheese) at the stadium.
  • Diontae Johnson catches one of those TD passes from Ben and celebrates the 49th anniversary of HBO’s first airing with a tribute. Unfortunately, the Steelers are penalized 15 yards on the kickoff due to adult language and partial nudity.
  • Steelers’ fail to hold on to the football twice and a the turnover streak mercilessly continues.
  • Pressley Harvin III booms a punt for 60+ yard field goal in warmups.
  • The Steelers don’t try a fake field goal against the Bears.
  • Ben Roethlisberger continuously throws to Pat Freiermuth and Zach Gentry. the duo combines for eleven catches and a touchdown.
  • Najee Harris gains 112 yards on the ground and 40 as a receiver out of the backfield and scores twice.
  • Minkah Fitzpatrick, Cam Sutton and Joe Schobert all pick off passes.
  • The Steelers get six sacks on the evening, T.J. Watt gets three.
  • Steelers win 30-9 to go to 5-3 for the season.

Will any of this actually happen? I’ll bet at least one or two. Heck, maybe every one of them. Be sure to post your predictions — basic or bizarre — below.