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Steelers vs. Titans, Week 15: Bold and Bizarre predictions for Steelers vs. Titans

Much to the chagrin of most, BTSC’s Nostradumbass predicts the Steelers’ matchup against the Titans.

Pittsburgh Steelers v Tennessee Titans Photo by Wesley Hitt/Getty Images

After a layoff following the loss in Minnesota, the black and gold will need to fight to get back on track against Tennessee. Of course, there are many questions to be answered. With inquiries, story lines, and more...I’ve compiled a list of predictions (some basic, and some utterly idiotic) to look for in this opening contest.

Last week, I came close, but ultimately whiffed on most of my predictions. Let’s see if I can rebound this week.

  • Sentenced to community service for his antics in 2021, Boujee Smith-Schuster’s stint as Baby Jesus in the live manger scene outside of Gate A doesn’t go as planned. JuJu’s pooch refuses to be swaddled and proclaims, “Game time, bitches” during player introductions. Boujee posts bail in the second half.
  • Ben Roethlisberger is sacked only twice on the afternoon and throws for 270 yards and three scoring tosses. Big Ben does not throw one in the arms of an opposing defender.
  • One of those sacks of Ben is perpetrated by Alvin “Bud” Dupree. Before the game, No. 48 is welcomed by Heinz Field fans with applause and towel twirls.
  • Diontae Johnson catches one of those scoring passes from Big Ben and instead of pulling out a Terrible Towel in celebration, No. 18 twirls a blue dress with a white splotch in commemoration of the 23rd anniversary of President Bill Clinton’s impeachment on this day in 1998. If you need to inquire about the blue dress, Google it. It was quite the sticky situation.
  • Pat Freiermuth nabs 8 balls and two of them go for touchdowns.
  • Chase Claypool catches a routine pass from Ben Roethlisberger for a first down and hands the ball of gingerly to an official.
  • Pressley Harvin III’s “Crank-and-Shank” Tour ‘21 ends as he places three kicks inside-the-20 and slices none.
  • Christopher Lynn Boswell is perfect on the afternoon with a field goal and four extra points.
  • Najee Harris gains 130 yards on the ground and 29 as a receiver out of the backfield and scores a touchdown.
  • Joe Haden picks off Ryan Tannehill in his triumphant return to the Steelers lineup.
  • T.J. Watt gets 2 more sacks to break the Steelers’ official record of 16 and the unofficial record of 17.5 held by Gene “Big Daddy” Lipscomb.
  • Both defenses give up plenty of points, but the Steelers defense holds down the stretch for the win.
  • Former Steelers OC Randy Fichtner misses the game due to his new job as director of “the Nutcracker” at Heinz Hall. Randy gets rave reviews for his choreography of “The Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairies”. The Tribune Review calls the performance the most imaginative of Fichtner’s career.

Will any of this actually happen? I’ll bet at least one or two. Heck, maybe every one of them. Be sure to post your predictions — basic or bizarre — below.