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Steelers vs. Chiefs, Week 16: Bold and Bizarre predictions for Steelers at Chiefs

Much to the chagrin of most, BTSC’s Nostradumbass predicts the Steelers’ matchup in the Week 16 vs. the Chiefs.

Kansas City Chiefs v Pittsburgh Steelers Photo by Justin K. Aller/Getty Images

The Steelers travel to Kansas City the day after Christmas, and there’s a lot to digest. With inquiries, story lines, and more, I’ve compiled a list of predictions (some basic, and some utterly idiotic) to look for in this challenging road contest.

Last week, I came close, but ultimately whiffed on most of my predictions. Let’s see if I can rebound this week.

  • Excited to learn that the holidays continue after a joyous Christmas Day, Boujee Smith-Schuster reads on the fridge calendar that Sunday is Boxing Day. Confusing the returning of gifts for fist fighting, JuJu’s pooch sucker punches Patrick Mahomes’ schnauzer. The French Bulldog doesn’t post bail until the Fourth Quarter.
  • Tyreek Hill and Travis Kelce make their way off of the COVID list and play in this contest. (Note: at the time this is written Hill has already been removed while Kelce is reportedly nearing his return to the lineup.)
  • Ben Roethlisberger is sacked three times on the afternoon and throws for 320 yards and four scoring tosses. Big Ben throws just one interception.
  • One of those sacks of Ben is perpetrated by short-time Steeler Melvin Ingram III. Tempers flare and yellow flags fly as it isn’t cordial.
  • Diontae Johnson catches one of those scoring passes from Big Ben and pardons Chase Claypool from his ill-timed celebration of a first down in the Minnesota game on December 9th. The gesture is in commemoration of the death anniversary of Gerald Ford. Early in Ford’s US presidency, Gerry pardoned the Chief Executive that he replaced, Richard Nixon, due to his transgressions during Watergate.
  • Zach Gentry nabs 5 balls and one of them goes for a touchdown. .
  • Christopher Lynn Boswell is perfect on the afternoon with three field goals including a 61-yarder.
  • Najee Harris gains 60 yards on the ground and 29 as a receiver out of the backfield and scores a touchdown.
  • Minkah Fitzpatrick and Ahkello Witherspoon both pick off Patrick Mahomes.
  • T.J. Watt and the Steelers are shut out against the hard-to-sack Mahomes.
  • Both defenses give up plenty of points, but the Steelers defense holds down the stretch for the 30-28 win.

Former Steelers OC Randy Fichtner, hoping to be of assistance, misses the game as he gets sidetracked looking for the World’s Biggest Ball of Twine in Cawker City, Kansas.

Will any of this actually happen? I’ll bet at least one or two. Heck, maybe every one of them. Be sure to post your predictions — basic or bizarre — below.