A look back at the Steelers week that was: A Whole Lotta Watt edition

BTSC continues their recap of the past week’s events for our readers. But where they went wrong was asking the one narcissistic writer that would put a bizarre spin on it to do it. So let’s all take a look at a BAD week in the Burgh together.

Monday 9/6

• The Steelers announced number changes for three players and another for newcomer Ahkello Witherspoon (No. 25). Jamir Jones moves from No. 44 to No. 40, Buddy Johnson is now donning Joe Schobert’s No. 45 after wearing the five-one and Schobert is now sporting No. 93. I’m not purchasing new jerseys, but my Artie Burns, Myron Bell, Rosie Nix and Daniel McCullers jerseys are undergoing a duct tape/sharpie alteration.
• The Steelers found themselves celebrating Labor Day by working on said holiday, but not everybody worked in the same manner. Once again, T.J. Watt worked on his own doing individual workouts. It’s kind of like when my entire family is busy doing yard work before a barbeque at our house and my son decides to rearrange the DVDs.

• The Steelers depth chart for Week One was released with four rookies slated to start against Buffalo on offense. Of course, Najee Harris was named RB1. Dan Moore Jr. will be the starting left tackle as Chuks Okorafor moves back to the right side, Kendrick Green finally listed as first-string center and Pat Freiermuth listed as TE1 alongside Eric Ebron. I haven’t seen this many youngsters in one place since the Muppet Babies debuted in 1984’s Muppets Take Manhattan.
• In a measure to to replace the loss of J.K. Dobbins to an ACL injury in their final preseason game, the Ravens held tryouts of free agents Le’Veon Bell and Devonta Freeman. Bad fantasy football players rushed to add both washouts to their pitiful lineups.

Tuesday 9/7

• Some people start drinking when they’re nervous. I load up on food. The T.J. Watt situation has me now uttering these fateful words... “Seven Beef ‘N Cheddars please”.

• In his weekly press conference, Mike Tomlin looked less comfortable than Bill Clinton at his 1999 impeachment hearings when addressing the T.J. Watt contract situation. Coach T. did say that “It’s my understanding, I remain optimistic something will get done from a deal perspective. I’m expecting him to work tomorrow. I’m proceeding with the assumption he’s going to work tomorrow.” And I fully expected my starter wife to return from a girls weekend at the beach without rug burns and a new affinity for wearing turtlenecks in July.
• Having lost J.K. Dobbins and Justice Hill to season-ending injuries, the Ravens indeed signed former Steelers’ RB Le’Veon Bell to their practice squad to go along with Alejandro Villanueva in their vintage black-and-gold collection. There’s no truth to the rumor that the Ratbirds would be working out Bubby Brister, Weegie Thompson and Limas Sweed.
• The Bills announced their captains on this day. Unlike the Steelers, who chose three (Ben Roethlisberger, Cam Heyward and Derek Watt) to lead the team, the Bills must have had trouble narrowing down the list. I imagine Head Coach Sean McDermott channeling Oprah in one of her My Favorite Things episodes... You get a ‘C’, you get a ‘C’, everybody gets a ‘C’.

Wednesday 9/8

• TJ Watt was back at practice on Wednesday, fully participating with the team. Could there be good news on the horizon?
• The first injury report of the week came out with Tyson Alualu, Kendrick Green and Alex Highsmith included on it. Alex Highsmith? Memo to Art II, you may want to send an Edible Arrangement and a basket of Beef ‘N Cheddars to T.J.’ s locker...STAT!!!!
• Whoever said Ben Roethlisberger wasn’t a supportive teammate? “I think T.J. Watt should get whatever he wants.” Seven also said that one of the reasons he took less money was to help guys like Watt get paid. In related news, No. 7 has been rumored to be watching Jerry McGuire on a loop and has been taking sports management classes online at Grand Canyon University.
• In a video watched over and over from every angle like it was the Zapruder film, Steeler Nation watched and listened intently as “ohthatsNajee22” leaked the following Derek Watt audio on Instagram, “Just cause he signed so late I guarantee everything’s going to be backtracked”. Najee’s post reminds me of my 12-year-old daughter leaking every single misstep that her older brother does. Oh jow I thank the heavens that camera phones and social media did not exist in 1987.

Thursday 9/9

• Is this orchestrated, fabricated or just a true Steeler saying “Enough is Enough!”? It doesn’t matter. T.J. Watt is now a Steeler legend as the Steelers and TJ Watt agreed on new 5-year contract worth $122.1 million with $80 million guaranteed.

Friday 9/10

• Enough said. Now we can relax. What? Minkah’s going to need a new deal soon? Cue up Whitesnake, “Here I Go Again”.

Saturday 9/11

• Reflections of 20 years since that tragic day! For me, this day makes me want to set aside all of life’s little petty disagreements and helps me recall how united we all were on that day. Never forget!
• The Kansas City Chiefs released CB Shakur Brown from their Practice Squad on Saturday. Can a return to the Steel City be in the former Michigan State Spartan’s future? If it’s anything like when my 1988 Prom Date attempted to return after she left me sitting all alone in a bad white and peach tux drowning my sorrows with a watered-down Mr. Pibb and a basket of cheese doodles to dance with her ex-boyfriend... Then no.
• Good news for the Steelers defense. Will the sack streak continue? This helps.

This was the significant week that was for the Steelers, mixed-in with my black-and-gold loving life. I’m sure next week will be full of Steelers happenings as well, so we’ll have to do this again. Have a great week, but better yet have a BAD one.