Steelers vs. Browns, Week 17: Bold and Bizarre predictions for Browns at Steelers

The Steelers host the Cleveland Browns on Monday Night Football, and there’s a lot to digest. With the Big Ben inquiries, story lines, and more, I’ve compiled a list of predictions some basic, and some utterly idiotic) to look for in this challenging road contest.

Last week, I came close, but ultimately whiffed on most of my predictions. Let’s see if I can rebound this week.

• Boujee Smith-Schuster, out of respect for Ben Roethlisberger, is on his best behavior in pregame and during the contest. After the game, JuJu’s pooch shoots at the television upon seeing yet another Baker Mayfield Progressive commercial. The bad news is that the flat screen assault happened at an area Fudruckers, the good news is that he used a super soaker full of Heinz Ketchup.
• Ben Roethlisberger is sacked once on the evening and throws for 240 yards, two scoring tosses and not one interception.
• The sack of Ben is perpetrated by Steeler tormentor Myles Garrett who helps 7 up off of the turf. Showing respect for his rival in possibly their last meeting, Garrett pats Ben gently on the helmet. In turn, Big Ben thanks him for not assaulting him with said helmet.
• Diontae Johnson catches one of those scoring passes from Big Ben and proceeds to celebrate with a carbonated beverage of his choice out of a commemorative Heinz Field/Big Ben cup. Diontae’s straw of choice is a paper one in honor of the 134th anniversary of Marvin Chester Stone inventing it.
• Pat Freiermuth catches 9 balls in his return from a concussion and two go for touchdowns.
• Christopher Lynn Boswell is not perfect on the evening. Boz goes 1 for 2 on extra points, but hits his lone field goals attempt, a 58-yarder.
• Najee Harris gains 55 yards on the ground and 30 as a receiver out of the backfield.
• Minkah Fitzpatrick, Cam Sutton, Terrell Edmunds and Ahkello Witherspoon all pick off Baker Mayfield.
• T.J. Watt and the Steelers rack up 4 sacks of Mayfield with No. 90 getting two of them.
• Former Steelers OC Randy Fichtner, not wanting to upstage Big Ben, skips the game altogether to watch his favorite film, the South Park Movie. Randyland just loves that song, “Blame Canada”.
• The Steelers win 23-20 and Ben rides off on John Leglue.

Will any of this actually happen? I’ll bet at least one or two. Heck, maybe every one of them. Be sure to post your predictions — basic or bizarre — below.