The Pittsburgh Steelers, in somewhat shambles, could slide deeper down the well with a loss against Super Bowl favorite Tampa Bay Buccaneers. But there is definite excitement in the Steel City due to one Kenneth Shane Pickett. With inquiries, story lines, and more, I’ve compiled a list of predictions (some basic, and some utterly idiotic) to look for in this challenging home contest.
For those new to the article I sometimes come close, but ultimately whiff on most of my predictions. Let’s see if I can get lucky this week.
- The Steelers announce that there will not be a blue injury tent, because the medical specialists are on IR as well.
- The Steelers are called for numerous roughing calls on Tom Brady for blitzing him without contact.
- With Kansas City not playing until 4:25, Boujee Smith-Schuster flies in on a private jet to make an appearance in pregame and humps Tom Brady’s leg, Giselle’s lawyers take notice and JuJu’s pooch is set to be deposed on Monday for divorce hearings.
- Ben Roethlisberger calls his own press conference to remind Kenny Pickett that he once had a sandwich at Peppi’s named after him. Then the legendary QB eats a 3-footer namesake on his own.
- Known for his chugging ability, Mitch Trubisky attempts to down an entire gallon of.... You know, this joke doesn’t really work anymore.
- Mason Rudolph makes waves as Tampa tabloids leak his new relationship, Giselle Bundchen. Mase asks Boujee to carpool with him to the deposition.
- Pickett goes 30 for 46 and 310 yards. The Steelers new QB1 throws two touchdowns, runs for one, and is intercepted once. There’s only one chant of “Mitch”, and that’s by Mitch.
- Jaylen Warren gets his first NFL score on a running play.
- Chase Claypool and Connor Heyward both catch touchdown passes.
- The Steelers get called for “illegal man down field” just twice.
- Najee Harris gains 35 yards on the ground and 21 as a receiver out of the backfield and scores a TD.
- The offensive line continues their improvement, and James Daniels becomes the enforcer on the offense and dares anybody to come near his quarterback.
- The Steelers get zero sacks.
- Arthur Maulet pick off Tom Brady, but the Steelers defense surrenders four touchdown passes and over 600 yards of offense.
- The Steelers rushing defense gives up over a 100 yards on the ground to Leonard Fournette.
- The Steelers get four touchdowns on the day, and a field goal from Chris Boswell. But contrary to an earlier published prediction in which the Steelers triumph, Brady and the Bucs crush the Steelers 55-31.
Will any of this actually happen? I’ll bet at least one or two. Heck, maybe every one of them. Be sure to post your predictions — basic or bizarre — below.