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Steelers vs. Eagles, Week 8: Bold and Bizarre predictions for Steelers vs. Eagles

Much to the chagrin of most, BTSC’s Nostradumbass predicts the Steelers’ matchup vs. the Philadelphia Eagles

NFL: AUG 12 Preseason - Steelers at Eagles Photo by Andy Lewis/Icon Sportswire via Getty Images

The Pittsburgh Steelers travel to Philadelphia and attempt to do the impossible and win. With inquiries, story lines, and more, I’ve compiled a list of predictions (some basic, and some utterly idiotic) to look for in this challenging home contest.

For those new to the article I sometimes come close, but ultimately whiff on most of my predictions. Let’s see if I can get lucky this week.

  • The Steelers attempt to beat Philly for the first time in 57 years is rendered a blow when, leading rusher from that 1965 game, Dick Hoak, refuses to come out of retirement at age 82 to revive the Steelers running game.
  • Art Rooney II corners Jeffrey Lurie and challenges the Eagles owner to a bet on the outcome of the de facto Pennsylvania State Championship. The winner gets bragging rights, a year’s supply of the sandwich of their people, and Matt Canada.
  • With Kansas City on a bye, Boujee Smith-Schuster shows up and dresses as the Great Pumpkin and dares the Philly crowd to throw things at him. They do and JuJu’s pooch only spends four days in the hospital.
  • Ben Roethlisberger calls his own press conference to remind Kenny Pickett that he once won in Philly in a preseason game.
  • Known for his chugging ability, Mitch Trubisky attempts to down a blender full of a Pat’s cheesesteak and then a Geno’s cheesesteak to attempt to determine which one is superior, A change of jersey and underwear is required.
  • Pickett goes 28 for 40 and 267 yards. The Steelers QB1 throws two touchdowns, runs for one, but is intercepted twice.
  • Pat Freiermuth catches 11 balls and two touchdown passes. To celebrate the touchdown and Henry Winkler’s 77th birthday, No. 88 imports a slip and slide, an actor in a Baby Shark costume, a Wurlitzer jukebox, and water skies to “jump the shark” and turn a jukebox on with the spike of a football in tribute to the man who portrayed the Fonz on Happy Days.
  • The Steelers get called for “illegal man down field” twice.
  • Najee Harris gains 59 yards on the ground and 10 as a receiver out of the backfield.
  • The offensive line continues their improvement, but Kenny is sacked twice.
  • The Steelers get one sack, one by Isaiahh Loudermilk.
  • Cam Sutton and Arthur Maulet pick off Jalen Hurts, but the Steelers defense still surrender two touchdown passes.
  • The Steelers rushing defense plays staunch for a third week in a row.
  • The Steelers get three touchdowns on the day, and two field goals from Nick Sciba. I must be delusional because I’m picking the Steelers to beat the Eagles 27-26.

Will any of this actually happen? I’ll bet at least one or two. Heck, maybe every one of them. Be sure to post your predictions — basic or bizarre — below.