I’m not sure if you’re aware of this, but the Steelers' offense is very bad in 2022.
Believe it or not, “bad” is a downgrade from 2021 when Pittsburgh’s offense just wasn't very good. Sadly, 2021 was a downgrade from the 2020 offense that was exposed during the second half of the season.
There were calls all throughout the 2020 season for Randy Fichtner, the Steelers then offensive coordinator, to be fired. That wasn’t surprising, considering the calls for Fichtner’s dismissal could be heard all throughout the 2019 season, even as quarterback Ben Roethlisberger stood helpless on the sideline with a surgically-repaired throwing elbow and a really big beard.
Thankfully, Fichtner’s detractors got their wish at the end of the 2020 campaign when he was let go and replaced by Matt Canada as the Steelers' new offensive coordinator.
How did Fichtner’s critics, mostly Steelers fans, finally get their wish? By adhering to a tried and true formula, the same one that led to the firing of Todd Haley following the 2017 season and the “retiring” of Bruce Arians after the 2011 campaign.
Here we are, eight games into the 2022 season—and 25 games into Canada’s reign as OC. The Steelers, 2-6, have the 28th-ranked offense in the NFL in terms of yardage and are dead last in scoring, averaging 15 points per week. The calls for Canada to be relieved of his duties have been constant and loud. Fans are in an uproar and just waiting for the Steelers to make a move. The Steelers are on their bye and could theoretically fire Canada now and allow his presumed successor—the soon-to-be-hated Mike Sullivan—time to implement whatever changes he can midway through the season.
OK, but how can the fans hasten this move? What can they do to make sure Canada is given his pink slip sooner rather than later?
Just keep following the formula. What formula, you ask? It’s the tried and true method I alluded to earlier in this article.
Need a refresher? Below is the formula you should follow.
- Talk about nothing else but wanting Canada to get fired and do this all the time.
- Make a hashtag.
- #FireCanada is acceptable.
- But I will also accept #BlameCanada.
- Post a video, meme or gif from the South Park movie that includes the Blame Canada song.
- As soon as you wake up in the morning, you need to Tweet about wanting Canada to get fired.
- Constantly ask podcasters, radio hosts and writers about Canada’s performance, and if they’re not in agreement with you that he should be fired, harass them and call them clowns.
- Photoshop clown shoes on a picture of Canada.
- Photoshop a clown wig over his familiar hat.
- Do lots of stuff involving clowns.
- Take time away from your lunch break to Tweet about your desire to see Canada get fired.
- Publish a list of candidates—people you wouldn’t mind hating in the future—you’d like to see replace Canada as the Steelers' next offensive coordinator.
- Retweet a Tweet from an ex-Steelers player who says he wants to see Canada get fired.
- Talk about route trees a lot.
- If your mail carrier tells you they think Canada should be fired, post that on your various social media platforms as “breaking news.”
- If the Steelers lose by a score of 16-10, I want you to insist that the defense did enough to win and then insist that Matt Canada should be fired.
- Become obsessed with Mike Tomlin’s coaching tree.
- If the Steelers lose by a score of 35-13, I want you to focus on nothing else but the potential firing of Matt Canada.
- If you don’t think the Steelers' next offensive coordinator should be a disciple of Sean McVay or Kyle Shanahan, you are part of the problem.
- Yearn for a return to the days of Bill Cowher and SMASHMOUTH FOOTBALL!
- Pray about Canada’s dismissal before you go to bed every night.
- Get yourself banned from certain websites and/or Twitter after hijacking an article/Tweet about the Steelers' upcoming Hall of Honor ceremony and making it all about #FireCanada.
- Insist that the Steelers' next offensive coordinator be an outside hire.
- Post a list of possible candidates who have a history with the Steelers and/or are from the Pittsburgh area.
- Familiarize yourself with the size of the Steelers coaching staff.
- Insist that the only reason the Rooneys, an ownership group that normally spends right up to the salary cap, won’t hire a high-profile candidate as the next OC is because they’re cheap...the Chief would be proud.
- Openly pine for the days of Bruce Arians and Todd Haley and claim that you always supported one or both.
- The offense was much better when Roethlisberger ignored Canada/Fichtner/Haley and just did his own thing. Insist that he be the Steelers' next OC.
There you have it, the formula you must follow if you want to hasten the dismissal of Matt Canada as the Steelers’ offensive coordinator. If you know this formula by heart, great! Keep going! If you don’t? Memorize it.
We need all hands in the pile in order to make this happen!