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Steelers vs. Falcons, Week 13: Bold and Bizarre predictions for Steelers at Falcons

Much to the chagrin of most, BTSC’s Nostradumbass predicts the Steelers’ matchup vs. the Atlanta Falcons

Pittsburgh Steelers v Indianapolis Colts Photo by Michael Hickey/Getty Images

The Pittsburgh Steelers travel to Atlanta to take on the equally disappointing Falcons. The home team will surely be a good test for the hopefully resurgent visitors, so this should be a good one. With inquiries, story lines, and more, I’ve compiled a list of predictions (some basic, and some utterly idiotic) to look for in this challenging home contest.

For those new to the article I sometimes come close, but ultimately whiff on most of my predictions. Let’s see if I can get lucky this week.

  • The Falcons attempt to beat the Men of Steel for the first time in 16 years and attempt to bring back TE Alge Crumpler who had three touchdowns that fateful day in 2006. The 44-year-old Crumpler, declines citing. He is only in shape to get two touchdowns against the paltry Pittsburgh secondary.
  • Art Rooney II corners Falcons owner Arthur Blank and joshes him because Chick-fil-A, albeit located in Mercedes, Benz Stadium, becomes a Fries Up on Sundays because the Georgia-based chain always takes this day off every week. The two owners make a sandwich bet for the loser to provide the winner either a lifetime supply of Pittsburghers from Primantis or Chik-Fil-A waffle fries.
  • Speaking of sandwiches, Ben Roethlisberger calls a press conference to remind Kenny Pickett that he had a sandwich named after him.
  • Pickett goes 22 for 34 and 220 yards. The Steelers QB1 throws three touchdowns and stretches his interception-free streak to four games.
  • Pat Freiermuth catches 9 balls and a touchdown.
  • George Pickens catches a touchdown and to celebrate the score and 49th birthday of Michael Jackson, Pickens grabs his crotch, and does a moonwalk in the touchdown zone. Upon learning that it is merely the birthday of English footballer and manager Mike Jackson, No. 14 builds a time machine and comes back to this very moment to throw fish and chips into the crowd.
  • Jaylen Warren scores his first NFL touchdown and uneducated fans rush to add him in fantasy leagues and drop Bennie Snell.
  • The Steelers get called for only one “illegal man down field” penalty.
  • Najee Harris gains 90 yards on the ground and scores a touchdown.
  • The Steelers get three sacks, one by T.J. Watt, one by Larry Ogunjobi and another by Arthur Maulet.
  • Minkah Fitzpatrick, Damontae Kazee and Cam Sutton intercept Marcus Mariota, but the Steelers defense still surrenders three touchdown passes.
  • Sutton with the pick-six.
  • The Steelers rushing defense falters as the Falcons run for over 150 yards on the ground.
  • The Steelers get five touchdowns on the day, and two field goals from Matthew Wright, but Wright misses a field goal and an extra point. The Steelers do win 39-36.

Will any of this actually happen? I’ll bet at least one or two. Heck, maybe every one of them. Be sure to post your predictions — basic or bizarre — below.