It’s only February, and I think we’ve already reached the levels of absurd when it comes to news involving the Steelers' search for a new quarterback.
Reporters are starting to mock the fans for their thirst for stories about this quest for a new signal-caller, a quest which is the result of quarterback Ben Roethlisberger officially retiring after 18 glorious years.
I’ve been mocking this thirst along with everyone else, but, if I’m being honest, there isn’t another story that interests me right now. For years, I bemoaned all of that offseason talk about finding the heir apparent to Roethlisberger, which meant drafting or signing someone when the big guy was still on the roster.
“Patrick Mahomes?” I rhetorically asked. “The Steelers have bigger fish to fry than bringing in some nobody from Texas Tech who played in something called the Air Raid offense.”
Yeah, I said this...like a freaking idiot!
Anyway, that was five years ago, in the lead-up to the 2017 NFL Draft, an event in which the Steelers would be selecting 30th and had no realistic chance at Mahomes. But could you imagine the fall out today had they passed on him? Thankfully, T.J. Watt was more than a nice addition for the defense and proved me right in those days.
Why draft a franchise quarterback when you already have a franchise quarterback?
Half the fun of your team drafting a guy in the first round, or signing someone in free agency, is knowing he’ll likely contribute in a major way right away. Why bring in an heir apparent at quarterback when your precious resources can be allocated to strengthening other positions in order to help you win right now?
But those days are gone. The Steelers aren’t currently a serious contender and have a huge question mark at the quarterback position.
I can’t wait to see what direction the Steelers go as it pertains to finding the successor to Roethlisberger.
It's something they haven't had to openly concern themselves with for decades.
This is why no other news appeals to me.
Normally, I’d want to talk about strengthening the defensive line, or addressing the inside linebacker spot. I’d love to talk about the holes along the offensive line or the uncertainty at cornerback.
But those stories just aren’t tasty for me at the moment.
Would Pittsburgh be better off in the long run by waiting to find its next franchise quarterback until other areas of the team are improved? Maybe, but I know salad would be better for me in the long run, yet, I can’t stop craving Chinese food and McDonald’s.
The same goes for the quarterback speculation.
Yes, I know we already discussed the possibilities of the Steelers signing Jameis Winston to be their starter in 2022, but that was a whole hour ago. I’m hungry for that discussion again.
Again, I am well aware we’ve already debated the idea of Pittsburgh trading up from the 20th pick in order to select Kenny Pickett or Malik Willis in the 2022 NFL Draft, but much like McDonald’s fast-food, this stuff is just so addictive.
To tell you the truth, I don’t really know anything about the current draft prospects besides the ones who play quarterback. I hear there’s some guy who plays on the offensive line that people are high on. I think his name is Kobe Litterbum, but I’m not sure. I believe he plays tackle, but it could be center or guard. I’m pretty sure he played his college ball at Michigan, but it could have been Southern Mississippi. I believe his team uniforms were black and gold, but they may have been navy blue and gray.
I just can't bring myself to find out all the details.
I don’t care if this ongoing quarterback speculation is bad for me, or the Pittsburgh Steelers.
Jimmy Garoppolo might be nothing more than empty calories, while Deshaun Watson could give me nasty heartburn, but I don’t care.
Just keep shoveling that junk food into my mouth.
So far, this Steelers offseason has felt like one giant cheat day, and I just want to continue to consume Steelers quarterback news until I barf.
Before I go, I'd like you to join me in some dessert. Sure, you're probably full and bloated like me, but this stuff is to die for:
Who would you like to see as the Steelers' new starting quarterback in 2022?