This is yet another one of those articles where I viciously attack the readers and fans.
Anyway, now that that’s out of the way, below are 11 questions I’d honestly like Steelers fans to answer for me this offseason.
- Do you think Jon Gruden ever gets accused of winning a Super Bowl with Tony Dungy’s players? How about Barry Switzer? (OK, bad example.) What about George Seifert or that guy who won Super Bowl V after Don Shula left the Colts?
- When you say Mike Tomlin wasted the last decade of Ben Roethlisberger’s career, what do you mean by that? Are you referring to the team not winning more Super Bowls? If so, where is this Super Bowl market where you can just walk in and buy as many Lombardi Trophies as you want as long as you show your franchise quarterback card at the register?
- What’s with this ongoing obsession with the Steelers returning to block-style jersey numbers?
- Why do you personally hate Mason Rudolph? I’m not talking about his level of quarterback play. I’m talking about him, the person. What has he done because I’m seriously out of the loop as to why he seems perilously close to turning into this wrestling heel-type player and changing his name to "The Model" Mason Rudolph before arriving at training camp this summer with his stunning valet, the lovely Miss Genie Bouchard, by his side?
- Do you honestly think any or all of the Steelers teams of the 2010s were objectively on par with or superior to the likes of the Super Bowl contenders of the day—including the Seahawks, 49ers, Patriots and Peyton Manning’s Denver Broncos?
- Why do you often spell Rudolph’s last name “Rudolf”? Is this some sort of spell-check feature, because I’ve never experienced it with my Android smartphone.
- How many seasons are you willing to give the Steelers next quarterback before determining that it’s time to move on to someone else? Mark Malone had like five years to prove he could be the next Terry Bradshaw, same with Bubby Brister, Neil O’Donnell and Kordell “Slash” Stewart. In this day and age of constant social media/talk show outrage, how long do you think (insert next quarterback here) will be given before the plug is pulled on that experiment?
- Do you think most head coaches should move on from a team after about a decade or so—this is essentially what Bill Walsh said in his book—or is it possible for someone to be effective in that role with one team for two or three decades?
- Is there a price for a typical Steelers game-day/game-weekend experience that would ultimately be too high for you to pay?
- Have you ever actually smashed something—a remote, your smartphone, your television, etc.—over a Steelers draft pick?
- Why is the “pineapple on pizza?” debate still so popular on Twitter and Facebook despite it being discussed at least once a day since the advent of social media?