I had a dream Mason Rudolph was the Steelers’ starting quarterback, and it was going well

I was torn about whether or not I should share my Mason Rudolph dream in an article, because it kind of makes me feel like Lisa Simpson: “I want to help you, George Washington!”

God, even my dreams are square...or weird...or disturbing.

But, hey, you can’t help what or who you dream about, right?

Anyway, Monday night, as I was sound asleep in my apartment in Crafton, Pa., I started dreaming about Rudolph, the Steelers fourth-year quarterback out of Oklahoma State, the guy with the first-round grade, leading the offense.

I mean, he was in command, directing people where to go pre-snap, yelling authoritatively at the referee, and he seemed to be the leader that the Steelers could only, well, dream of.

Why did I have this dream? Do I want to see Rudolph lead the Steelers' offense so badly that I’d dream about it? I mean, don’t I have anything else worth dreaming about, like winning the lottery or actually leading the Steelers offense, myself, which would sort of be like hitting the lottery when you consider what franchise quarterbacks are making these days?

I’m not sure. I do know that Rudolph winning the starting quarterback spot—and being so good that he’s like a field general and stuff—would be a pretty impressive story at this point. But it’s not like I’m a Rudolph believer or truther or whatever melodramatic label fans are placing on other fans who may want to see him succeed.

Maybe it’s like my mom always tells me, I have the word of knowledge. What does that mean, exactly? I’m not sure, but I guess I can kind of see into the future, at least according to her. I do know I predicted that the Steelers would draft Artie Burns. And if that’s too frightening for you, I also said they’d select T.J. Watt one year later.

I was also quite sure that Ramon Foster would be an incredibly consistent guard while others were still out there praising Willie Colon like he was the second coming of Alan Faneca.

OK, back to my dream about Mason Rudolph. I don’t recall him throwing any great passes, but I was taken by the command that he showed, the confidence, the presence; it was like he knew the starting quarterback job was rightfully his and not Mitch Trubisky’s or Dwayne Haskins’ or Malik Willis’ or Kenny Pickett’s. Rudolph’s teammates seemed to be perfectly happy to have him as their leader, too, which is always important.

It was also raining in my dream. What does that have to do with anything? Ben Roethlisberger’s first start came in a heavy downpour on a Sunday night in Miami in a game against the Dolphins. I’d say his career turned out pretty well, no?

Make of my dream what you will, but don’t forget what my mom said about the word of knowledge that I may or may not possess.

I’m not saying that I possess this supposed word of knowledge, but wouldn’t it be something if Mason Rudolph went on to have this great career as the Steelers starting quarterback?

Lastly, if you want to accuse me of clickbait, I regret to inform you that, once again, you have gotten the definition wrong.