Rejoice! Diontae Johnson is at Steelers OTAs!

In the greatest show of love for Steelers fans by a receiver since the time JuJu Smith-Schuster decided to stop dancing on other teams’ logos, Diontae Johnson finally showed up for the ongoing third phase of OTAs that ramped up again on Tuesday!

After missing the first two phases of OTAs and the beginning part of the third phase, Johnson decided to be a team player and put in the voluntary work.

Yay, Diontae!

Speaking for all Steelers fans, Diontae, I’m glad you finally ended your holdout, even though it wasn’t a holdout, but most of us were calling it a holdout and would have continued to do so all throughout the rest of the OTAs. We also would have reminded you about your holdout the next time you dropped a pass during the regular season. Who am I kidding? We are still going to remind you about the first two-plus phases of OTAs that you missed the next time you drop a pass during the regular season.

Why were we up in arms over your absence? Number one, you’re a receiver. Number two, you want more money. Now, if you were a safety who walked to the beat of your own drummer like, say, Troy Polamalu, and you decided to skip these voluntary OTAs and workout in California, we would have been fine with it. Why? That would be Troy being Troy.

You’re a receiver who wants more money.

Now that you’re back with the team and voluntarily working out with your mates, we will happily give you whatever you want in terms of a new contract, right? Wrong! No, Diontae, we still don’t want you to have a new deal that pays you an annual salary of anywhere between $18 and $20 million. Do we want you to take less? You betcha, we do. Even so, we’d much rather you go elsewhere next year and ply your trade with another organization. Why? Because the Steelers are really good at drafting receivers except for when they’re not that good at it. You might be a good example of them not being so great at it, in fact. Don’t worry, though, they’ll get it right with George Pickens and/or Austin Powers III, a fourth-round pick we’ve already dubbed CP3 because he’s new and fresh and has yet to celebrate anything in front of us.

Anyway, even though we don’t think you’re all that great—have we reminded you of your drop rate lately?—and even though we don’t really want you back next year, we’re glad you’re here now. Hey, maybe the Steelers can entertain trade offers for you. What do we think an okay receiver who drops the football all the time and isn’t worth $18 to $20 million a year could fetch in a trade? A first-round pick, but we’d settle for a second or third as a last resort.

That’s right, your absence at voluntary OTAs was inexcusable, but we’d be fine with it if we had a premium 2023 draft pick in our back pocket.

No, we probably don’t want you back next year, Diontae, and, to reiterate, we’re not even sure if you’re that valuable of a weapon right now. I mean, all you do is catch those little five-yard passes. Also, your ability to do anything after the catch isn’t all that impressive.

While we don’t think you’re all that great, Diontae, and while we don’t really want you back next year—at any price—we are glad you decided to finally end your voluntary holdout and show up to this portion of the third phase of OTAs.

Yay!