I wish I were just scraping the bottom of the offseason barrel to find something to write about on the eve of the Steelers reporting to training camp. I wish I were creating one of those strawman arguments that are so popular on social media.
I wish I were good at Madden, a popular video game.
Actually, I don’t wish I was good at Madden, a football video game that my friends, nephews, cousins and friends’ kids have been kicking my butt at for years—I maxed out at Tecmo Bowl, sadly.
However, if I do decide to play the 2022 version of Madden, you damn well better believe I won’t be using Steelers linebacker T.J. Watt in any capacity. Why? He sucks, or at least he won’t give me as good of a chance at getting after the quarterback as the Browns’ Myles Garrett. You see, Watt was rated a 96, while Garrett received a 99. What does this all mean? I do not know, but I’m proud to say that I never bothered to research any of this recent “controversy” before sitting down to write this piece.
The reason I didn’t bother to research what the Madden rating—and slight—means for Watt is because, much like unicorns, Madden is fictional. I mean, if sports is the toy department of the newsroom, what does that make fictional sports?
Unlike slip screens and Cover 3, I can proudly sit here and tell the fans that they are foolish for getting all up in arms over Watt’s inferior Madden rating compared to Garrett’s, and there’s nothing you can call me out for.
Speaking of those mad at Watt's Madden rating, I believe these are the same people who create GoFundMe pages to pay player fines or start petitions to save stadium names.
Are you really that worried about Watt’s validation and respect at that point?
The man just won the most prestigious award any NFL defensive player could receive—besides the NFL MVP Award, of course.
Not long before that, Watt’s employers, the Steelers, decided to guarantee him $80 million.
How much validation and respect does one man need? Watt now gets to go to the same parties as Mean Joe Greene, Mel Blount, Rod Woodson and James Harrison (yes, I know I left out the names of some other Steelers who won the Defensive Player of the Year Award, but I want you to be offended on their behalf).
Also, Watt now has more money than he’ll ever be able to spend. His great great great granddaughter won’t ever wake one morning a century from now and say, “Man, the light bill is due. I hope I can swing it.”
I realize this is a hard concept to wrap your head around, but some battles are worth fighting, while some are not. Just be glad the Steelers have a Watt going to battle on their behalf every week. Just be happy other teams have to stay up all hours of the night to prepare for his seemingly unstoppable pass-rush.
Speaking of the people who vow to pay a player’s fine, they’re probably the same folks who say things like, “Just keep disrespecting T.J. Going to fire him up for the season.” If that man is paying attention to the outside noise of Madden ratings, he’s probably in trouble.
Finally, if Watt’s rating bothers you so much, just use Garrett whenever you’re playing a serious game of Madden.
I know what you’re going to say, and here is my rebuttal: Yeah, because that’s what’s crazy.