clock menu more-arrow no yes mobile

Filed under:

Steelers vs. Patriots, Week 2: Bold and Bizarre predictions for Steelers vs. Patriots

Much to the chagrin of most, BTSC’s Nostradumbass predicts the Steelers’ matchup vs. New England.

NFL: Pittsburgh Steelers at Cincinnati Bengals Katie Stratman-USA TODAY Sports

The Steelers host the New England Patriots in their 2022 home opener and there’s a lot to digest. With inquiries, story lines, and more, I’ve compiled a list of predictions (some basic, and some utterly idiotic) to look for in this challenging road contest.

For those new to the article I sometimes come close, but ultimately whiff on most of my predictions. Let’s see if I can get lucky this week.

  • Art Rooney II, proving that he is a man of the people, stands atop the scoreboard at Acrisure Stadium and douses fans with the contents of two bottles of ketchup, one in each hand. There was much rejoicing until when one eagle-eyed fan noticed a Hunts bottle instead of Heinz.
  • Not caring anymore, Bill Belichick leads a camera crew into the Steelers warmups and pregame meetings.
  • Since the Chiefs played on Thursday, Boujee Smith-Schuster surprises the team with a visit, humps Robert Kraft’s leg and crashes the media buffet.
  • Known for his chugging ability, Mitch Trubisky attempts to down a blender full of Primanti Brothers’ Cap and Cheese Smoothie. Rumor has it a change of jersey and underwear is necessary.
  • When it’s time to announce the quarterback during introductions, Ben Roethlisberger bursts past Trubusky to the confusion of the crowd. PR Director Burt Lauten has to retrieve the former No. 7.
  • Trubisky goes 26 for 38 and 210 yards. The Steelers QB1 throws two touchdowns, and is intercepted once.
  • After Mitch’s first incompletion, Kenny Pickett chants emanate from Actisure.
  • Pat Freiermuth leads the team with 12 catches on the afternoon.
  • Chase Claypool, on the receiving end of one of those Trubisky touchdown passes, leads the offense in a celebration that includes them all taking a big swig of their preferred sports beverage and simultaneously spewing it in the air. This is in commemoration of the 152nd anniversary of the discovery of Old Faithful in 1870 by the Washburn Expedition. Old Faithful geyser was named for its frequent and somewhat predictable eruptions, which number more than a million since Yellowstone became the world’s first national park in 1872.
  • Najee Harris gains 46 on the ground and 40 as a receiver out of the backfield and scores the Steelers lone rushing touchdown.
  • The Steelers get three sacks on the afternoon despite the absence of T.J. Watt. Malik Reed gets two and Alex Highsmith the other.
  • The Steelers, on the strength of a Harris rushing touchdown, scoring catches by Claypool and Diontae Johnson, and three Chris Boswell field goals are victorious by the score of 30-19. There is much rejoicing.

Will any of this actually happen? I’ll bet at least one or two. Heck, maybe every one of them. Be sure to post your predictions — basic or bizarre — below.