Thanks to Pro Football Talk, there are approximately 4,275 punch lines to be made on this one.
Steelers offensive coordinator reportedly told team officials he was stuck in traffic en route to the airport before the Steelers' Thursday night game against the Baltimore Ravens last week. He missed the team's flight, but hitched a ride with his wife, who was driving up for the game.
According to PFT, Haley didn't miss any team meetings despite missing the flight, and that's where we'll begin.
Perhaps there should have been another meeting or two scheduled, perhaps without Haley being present.
It isn't reported whether Haley's wife is the one who drove Le'Veon Bell to Philadelphia after his arrest for suspicion of DUI and marijuana possession.
If Haley wasn't there, the Steelers offense may have only scored 12 points instead of just six.
In response, the Steelers advised Haley the team flight for their home game in Week 4 vs. Tampa Bay leaves at 1 p.m. Sunday.
He did, unfortunately, make the team flight home.
Early reports are not clear on whether McKnight Rd. was involved.
Haley was not sued for a past-due debt on his way to the airport, but past transgressions will make people wonder if he didn't owe the airline a past balance, and he knew they wouldn't let him on the plane.
He kept looking for the team's offense but then realized he left it in the locker room back at Heinz Field at halftime of their Week 1 win under a bench, he just couldn't find it in time for the flight.
Haley thought this is how holdouts worked. If quitting for the second half in Week 1 wouldn't get him a raise, then he just wouldn't show up for the Ravens game.
He's superstitious since he took the team flight to Baltimore last year, and the team lost.
Traffic was only a problem because his dog ate his keys before he left for the airport.
He got out late from a secret, off-site meeting with Ian Rapoport.
He assumed he was fired after Week 1.
The car service he used to have vanished, and he was too afraid to take rides offered by that psychotic "Steelers Crash" guy from Twitter.
Mike Tomlin thought he was speaking metaphorically when he said "I'm taking the bus."
Other reports suggest Haley made the flight, but he was suspiciously re-routed to a different hotel upon arrival.
He was secretly interviewing for the anonymous "Head of NFL" job the owners are quietly looking to hire sometime by the beginning of October.
Haley knew it was over, but he figured it was his best chance to top Tomlin's "Biggest Buffoon Moment vs. Baltimore."