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Friday night 5 questions and open thread

It's Friday night, it's something fun and previously done without a runner-up riding our coattails, but we're gonna do five questions anyway.

Gregory Shamus

It's the last Five Questions Open Thread before the start of the regular season. Still, it feels odd, considering it's not even like the season ever ended. We have a full 52 weeks of stuff spanning the period from last year at this time to now. More on that in a second, but just think about it. When did news really slow down this year?

The rules are, as always, you must announce your drink, no discussions on the career and times of Christian Laettner and if you haven't donated yet, please give us money because we aren't original enough to come up with ideas on our own (but we'll pat ourselves on the back for a year of work).

1. I was recalling Bill Swersky's Super Fans skit from Saturday Night Live back in the day when thinking about Sunday's game. What's your best Swersky dialogue version of the final score in Week 1?

2. The real reason I was thinking about Swersky's Super Fans was because I want to know what you think is the best Saturday Night Live skit of all time. My vote, The Sinatra Group. Phil Hartman left us long before he should have. That, or Community Quiz Bowl...look it up, it's epic.

3. We have a feature coming up about Markus Wheaton. It seems like he has the most to gain or lose from his performance Sunday, and the stage is almost eerily set for a monster performance. Joe Haden will be all distracted with Brown and Justin Gilbert can't tackle. Just get Wheaton the ball on a quick screen, see what happens. If it isn't Wheaton, which Steelers player has the most to gain Sunday?

4. Bill Simmons spoke straight from my soul recently in a piece titled "The League That Never Sleeps." Certainly, Simmons is far more entertaining and intelligent than I (understatement of the year), so I'll let him say everything I've felt about NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell. He raises an interesting point regarding the fact there hasn't been any kind of a break all year. August was the only month this year in which BTSC didn't have more posts than it had in the same month last year. As my dad always said to me growing up, too much of a good thing is no good. How much is too much NFL? Simmons didn't seem to mind, but it's like all this is bound to come crashing down soon, isn't it?

5. What's more likely Sunday, A Browns win, Ben throws five touchdown passes, Worilds has four sacks or Mike Mitchell intercepts two passes?