Losing a game in the manner in which the Steelers did last week leads my brain to nearly explode with crazy thoughts to ponder the significance up. You are cordially invited to analyze the random thoughts emanating from the far reaches of my black and gold mind. First, like footballs in the mitts of No. 11, let's drop apologies to those that I may have offended last week.
- Anybody trying to forget about Charlie Sheen
- The cast of "Big Bang Theory"
- The surprisingly large amount of readers that actually don't like "Big Bang Theory"
- Hot fudge
- Pablo Escobar
- Nerds with PTSD due to swirlies (me)
- Relatives I try to avoid at family functions
- My wife
- Anybody who doesn't want to envision my romantic life
- Jerry Seinfeld (for not winning an acting Emmy)
- Tongueless Kisses
- The cast of Ghostbusters
- Anybody who objects to much inclusion of schnozzola or Tonsil-town
- Michael Jackson's 1970's nose (Not the 90's one, however)
...And The Outfield
Please accept my humble apologies and realize that "sorry" does indeed feed the bulldog.
Here are my "Random Thoughts" for the week.
* I'm suffering from a form of PTSD after the debacle in Phily on Sunday. It's so bad I couldn't eat my Philly Steak and Cheese sandwich yesterday and I whimpered quite a bit when I put cream cheese on my bagel this morning.
* I'm hoping the Steelers coaches destroy the game film and just move on. I'm trying to block it out like Willis blanked out on everything that happened in 1975 (The year his and Arnold's parents died) in the 1978 episode of "Diff'rent Strokes" entitled "The Tutor." Unfortunately, I still remember the Eagles game and my love for corny sitcoms. Hopefully the players, put it behind them and focus solely on Kansas City.
* DeAngelo Williams posted on social media Monday the following:
"For all of you tweeting at me about your fantasy teams losing, with all due respect I just don't care (like not even a little bit). Focused on KC!!"
I love this. And for the record, go into the "Random Thoughts" archives from a few weeks back and you'll see where I addressed this. In fact, I'll do it for you.
Speaking of Fantasy Football. If you happen to run into an NFL player, the only thing they'd rather hear uttered than "you need to take this paternity test" is "you're on my fantasy team". Nothing's going to halt the convo faster. What are you hoping to hear anyways? "Thank you for having enough faith to draft me.", "I'm sorry I haven't performed to your expectations. I'll do better I promise." or "Here's some money to cover the cost of the league fees and potential prize money that I deprived you of." are things that you will never hear in that situation. Most likely response, "Well, I've got to go over there now". (August 31, 2016)
Why would they care if they disappoint us? They owe us nothing in that respect. It's so brazen to call somebody out on that. But it's still done. I play Fantasy Football, but I can separate it from reality. In fact, I would rather lose all of my FF games than have the Steelers lose. Stop it! It's not about you.
* I preface this next one with the disclaimer that I am very well aware of the fact that a lot of people don't think I'm funny, but at least I try to include substance. The worst thing about the Steelers loss for me is now my Facebook will be infected with people sharing the latest "Pittsburgh Dad" ranting about the Steelers losing. I know that this isn't going to be too popular, but I can't imagine any reason besides nostalgia for home for this guy being popular whatsoever. I don't find it funny at all. There's no jokes, just a yinzer yelling to a laugh track.
* Sunday's contest seemed to me to be won and lost when Markus Wheaton dropped the ball in the end zone. They should have, but the Steelers never recovered momentum after that moment. It's kind of like when you are 13 at a Junior High dance. It's 1985, you're decked out in the Don Johnson, white linens and the mullet is looking very Macchio-esque. You muster up the nerve to ask the little cutie in your geography class to dance to "Careless Whisper" and she politely declines. You are demoralized and know nothing better than to hightail it out of there like Daniel-san drenched in marinara in the "Karate Kid." Metaphorically, that's exactly the way the rest of the game seemed to go for the Steelers. I guess George Michael was right....guilty feet, indeed, have got no rhythm
* When Ben Roethlisberger went to bed on Sunday night, one would think that he looked under his bed to make sure that Brandon Graham and Fletcher Cox weren't hiding and lying in wait for him.
* DeAngelo Williams does not need to be a forgotten man now that Le'Veon Bell is returning from suspension. The Steelers need not take a page out of "Happy Days" and completely ignore the existence of the eldest of the Cunningham children, Chuck, and let him drown in a deep, sitcom abyss. Expect to see both running backs on the field at the same time together. With Bell lining up in a receiving role.
* The Philadelphia game is not completely in the rear view mirror. Eagle's head-man, Doug Pederson, was the OC in KC last year and both offenses are very similar. Don't think for a minute that Andy Reid has done nothing but eat Kansas City barbecue and hasn't realized that he has similar weapons and schemes already in place that were so very effective against the Steelers.
* It seems ridiculous to claim, but Sunday's game is potentially make or break already for the Steelers 2016 season. Should Pittsburgh drop a big home game and potentially fall to 2-2, two games behind Baltimore... It could mean the remainder of the season becomes a hurried quest to catch up. You don't want to get into a situation where other teams Control your destiny. But 3-1, on the other hand, puts a positive end to the first-quarter of the season.
* I wonder what Earl Holmes is doing these days.
Until next week, ponder the significance of the wise words of Al Burton, Alan Thicke and Gloria Loring and remember that everybody's got a special kind of story, everybody finds a way to shine. It doesn't matter that you got not a lot, so what. They'll have theirs and you'll have yours, and I'll have mine. And together we'll be fine. Because it takes different strokes to move the world. Yes it does.