This is starting to suck, and not in the good way. The Steelers have lost three in a row and Steeler Nation is despondent. Something's gotta give, and I'm not talking about Jack Nicholson and Diane Keaton. So once again, my random thoughts are dark, dreary and depressing, like the Goth kid cafeteria table in 1997.
Before I share them with you. I must, as always, get my sorry on for who I may have offended last week.
- Kool and the Gang
- Your local Sizzler
- The House of Slytherin and Draco Malfoy
- A1 Steak Sauce
- Cafereria ladies
- Rod Stewart
- You, the reader. Such a short list, last week's column must have sucked...and not in the good way.
Now to the random thoughts...
- Losing to the Ravens is like Joker besting Batman, Vader slicing off his son's sandwich grabber, Frank Burns sending Hawkeye and Trapper to the stockade and Mr. Roper evicting Jack Tripper because he erroneously thinks he's gay. I live in Maryland, so it's 100-times worse. I'm so demoralized right now, I can't even look at an Old Bay can right now. I'm just hoping Santa can deliver a big juicy "W" on Christmas Day.
- Losing to The Ravens as often as the Steelers have is becoming an ugly trend. It makes me wonder if they made some sort of "the Devil and Daniel Webster" deal to beat Pittsburgh. If so, I hope he cashes in soon.
- I'm afraid that the Steelers offense is becoming way too predictable. They are not mixing it up too well and it really isn't too shocking when the defense isn't surprised with what they are running in certain situations. When Ben throws deep on third and short, it is kind of expected now. It's kind of like being shocked when your family isn't surprised that you are serving tacos on Tuesdays or fish on Fridays.
- At this juncture, I have a better chance of playing wide receiver for the Steelers in 2017 than Markus Wheaton and I am 44 and have hands of gravy. Mmmmmm gravy. Wheaton's contract year could not have gone worse. Nagging injuries have hampered him greatly and his season debut was disastrous against Phily. He's not going to get a Manny Sanders type pay day now. The only hope is that he somehow replicates last year's second-half boom. If so, he needs to get healthy and it needs to start soon.
- I'm starting to think that the Steelers really need to get their house in order. With comments being made by Ben Roethlisberger and Le'Veon Bell about problems in practices, the house is starting to seem like "The Money Pit".
- Ben Rothlisberger's proclamation that everything is going to be OK and that we are merely at halftime is refreshing. This team needs a vocal and emotional leader and supporter to rally behind. It's like "The Goonies". This team needs more Mikeys and less Chunks.
- I am definitely in the minority here, but I loved the concept of the Chris Boswell onside kick. He nailed it twice in college and he mastered it all week in practice. He just stumbled on the big stage. Mike Tomlin actually said that you might see it again. Even though I hate when they try to get too cute, I hope so. They've struggled on onsides forever. If it works, it's brilliant.
- If the script holds true to the Steelers besting teams that they aren't supposed to, the Dallas game should equate to a win. But 2016 hasn't been typical in general. So, who knows what will happen.
- The youth movement has begun in Pittsburgh with Artie Burns, Sean Davis and Javon Hargrave all getting starting nods this week. This gives them a chance to accelerate their learning curve and still contribute to a potential playoff run. I had a Mary Kay Letourneau joke/reference, but not really sure how to fit it in.
- Happy Veterans Day to Al Villanueva. Most of us can't comprehend the courage it takes to serve three tours in Afghanistan, let alone the earning of a Bronze Star. Look up why he earned it. Truly astounding.
- I wonder what Verron Haynes is doing these days. (I spent 5 hours in a car with No. 34 on a Saturday in 2006. Great guy).
Until next week,
I'd like to remind us all the winning words of Lou Bega in 1999's Mambo #5, "I don't wann beerbust like I had last week, I must stay deep because talk is cheap."