Random Thoughts From a Black and Gold Mind: Week 12

Finally, a Random Thoughts piece where I'm actually inspired by my team's play, instead of sullen and filled with dreary musings. I have lots of metaphorical sunshine and lollipops to share with you. But first, I am morally obligated to apologize to the various parties but I most likely offended last time out.

So, like the Santa Claus of Sorries...I unload my sack-full of regrets to and for the following:

• Jack Tripper, Stanley Roper and to you for spoiling the plot of every Three's Company episode ever filmed before a live studio audience
• The fine work that is "The Devil and Daniel Webster"
• Taco Tuesdays and Fish Fridays
• Using the term "hands of gravy"
• Chunk from "The Goonies, but not Mikey
• Lou Bega

and

• Mary Kay Letourneau

On with my asininity...

• I don't care that the Steelers beat a Luck-less Colts on Thanksgiving. Other teams have benefited by facing a Ben-less Steelers. Yeah, the "ifs-and-buts" theories are probably accurate. However, I'd rather go home with the ugly barfly at 2 a.m. than go home and follow Vinnie Vega's "mirror" agenda in Mia Wallace's bathroom in "Pulp Fiction".
• With what seemed to be an embarrassment of riches that would even make Kanye feel slighted, the WR position at the beginning of the season was deeper than Mr. Monopoly's pockets. What a difference half-of-a-season makes. Wheaton is on IR, DHB is hurt. The depth is skinnier than a Bill Belichick book on morals. AB is AB, so he is fine. But then again, he isn't. He's getting double-teamed and pounded by two-to-three guys at a time. That's not too enviable of a position, unless you're into that kind of thing. Finding help on the street at this juncture is probably not going to happen or be fruitful. Despite two broken digits, Ben should throw deep to Sammie Coates early every game just to establish him as a threat, whether he catches it or not. But I'd prefer a grab over a drop.
• Ladarius Green is showing flashes of brilliance and he needs to become even more of a presence. His rapport with Ben is growing and it needs to be accelerated quickly. He's another guy that can keep guys off of AB. Its like adding a second female to a sausage-fest to spread out the horny masses.
• Back to Brown, AB is on pace to end 2016 with 119 receptions and 1,453 yards. For most players, that would be a career year. For No. 84, that would be only his fourth-best yardage year and third-best in number of catches. That's HOF material if I've ever heard of any.
• Usually I'm very hypocritical when a player from another team makes a celebratory spectacle out of himself and demean said player, however Pat McAfee entertains me greatly. The Colt punter's exaggerated strut after perfectly executing a fake punt was entertaining, as were his tweets to Antonio Brown requesting AB not kicking him in the face because his mom would be at the game and his taped Q and A's regarding Thanksgiving. McAfee was my Colts MVP of that game on field and off. Funny is funny.
• Ben Roethlisbeger's proclamation that he was going to give his turkey-leg reward to his linemen after the game was laughable. Firstly, Ben never looks like he ever passes up free poultry. Secondly, he had taken a bite out of it already. Finally, how would he choose which one to give it too? You are a fool to wave a turkey leg in front of five 300-plussers while doing the eeny-meeny-miney-mo. Forget about being the heart and soul of the team, those guys would tear him apart faster than the white tiger that ravaged Roy in 2003. Or Seigfried. He was wearing sequins. Not too sure. I get them mixed up.
• I get on Mike Mitchell almost as frequently as he is penalized for unnecessary roughness, but I need to give credit where credit is due. He was money on Thanksgiving. That needs to continue.
• Speaking of awesome displays, I need to get ahold of the shirt Mike Tomlin was sporting in prime time Thursday night. That was some nice swag. See above.
• The Steelers can actually afford to sustain one more loss in 2016, however it behooves them to win out for momentum's sake. The schedule favors Pittsburgh. They have the Giants, Bengals, Bills, Ravens and Browns, while Baltimore has a much rockier road going forward with Cincy book ending a slate of Miami, New England, Phily and Pittsburgh. The Bengals at 3-6-1 have the Ravens, Eagles, Browns, Steelers, Texans and Ravens.
• I'm wondering if the Steelers at Bengals tilt on 12/18 will get flexed-out. If they fall even further out the next two weeks, I would think that the 8:30 start could be in jeopardy. NE-Den, Det-NYG, NO-Ari, Ten-KC or even Rosie-Trump seem a whole-lot more engaging.
• If I were Landry Jones I'd bribe (Equipment Manager) Rodgers Freyvogel to put IcyHot in Jesse James' jock after dropping that sweet pass at the end of the Indy game. The much-maligned Jones threw a perfect ball to James who let it inexplicably fly through his sandwich-grabbers. I like "the Outlaw", but he looked more like an "in-law" on that play.

And finally...

• I wonder what Gary Russell is doing these days.

Until next week, Gloria Gaynor, Cake and many a wronged-drunk girl sang the state of the 2016 Steelers best with these heroic lyrics, "Weren't you the one who tried to break me with goodbye? Do you think I would crumble? Did you think I'd lay down and die? I will survive. Oh, I will survive".