The Steelers are in the playoffs and it’s 2017, you know that as sure as Schwarzenegger would suck in “Celebrity Apprentice” that my black and gold mind would be swirling like the (get to the) chopper propellers in 1987’s “Pedator”. So, as always, I will generously impregnate you with my random thoughts as Arnold would with a housekeeper or several.
But just as I’m sure I’ll be apologize for that keyboarding transgression next week, I feel compelled to raise my glass of contrition for the following inappropriate insertions from last week’s attempt at hilarity.
So a Pacific Ocean of pardons goes out to and four the following:
- People who ruin good steaks.
- Sean Davis and the Steelers for hinting at possible Russian involvement in his “Joe Greene Award” voting.
- Redneck beauty pageant moms
- Beauty pageant moms, in general
- The labeling of the New England Patriots as the Belichickens
- Matt Damon
- The great Frenchy Fuqua (I didn't say anything derogatory against “the French Count”, but anytime I get a chance to mention the legend...I do.)
- Misspelling Huey Lewis’ last name. It’s Hugh Anthony Cregg III not Craig. Thanks to edgerunner598 for calling me out on the typo.
Now to get my Kramden on...And away we go!
- I've actually achieved a lifelong dream. In the comment section of last week’s Random Thoughts From A Black And Gold Mind, DCBill labeled me as sophomoric. Consider me flattered. I was going for freshmanic, but sophomoric is an entire grade better.
- Please tell me you’ve seen the video of wrestling-legend Ric Flair deadlifting 400 lbs. The stylin’, profilin’, limousine riding, jet flying, kiss stealin’, wheelin’ n’ dealin’ son of a gun is 67 and doing that. The only NFL player I could think of doing that at that age is James Harrison. There is no truth to the rumor that Flair will replace Jarvis Jones on the active roster at OLB.
- Antonio Brown was named as a First Team All-Pro on Friday for 2016. One of these days, I'd like to see AB win the award for NFL MVP. But since just as many BTSC writers have won the award as those who boast a “W” and “R” in their job description, that would be remarkable. (Note: Lance Alworth and Gino Cappeletti did it in the AFL.)
- The three-game suspension may have cost Le’Veon Bell First-Team All-Pro status, but it is still hard to argue with second-team honors and the selections of David Johnson and Zeke Elliott. It would have been nice to have seen both AB and Juice get the highest honor. It’s like if Darryl Hall (musical royalty in my mind) got inducted into the Rock and Roll HOF without his fellow musical genius, John Oates. Que the comment board crucification on that one.
- Do you remember, in the early part of the decade, when the Steelers boasted their very own "Brat Pack" of receivers called "Young Money"? Mike Wallace, Emmanuel Sanders and Antonio Brown made up that crew, with AB the low man on that totem pole at the time. Now the Steelers have a group of receivers (drafted very low or not at all) that are doing very special things in the Steel City. So let me be the first to dub the trio of Eli Rogers, Cobi Hamilton and Demarcus Ayers as "Found Money". They are every bit of a huge surprise as finding an Andrew Jackson in an alley or a date for a Star Tek Convention.
- Speaking of the receivers, Demarcus Ayers needs to be dressed on Sunday and ready to go. I still like Sammie Coates, but even he said he wouldn't be at 100% until he undergoes surgery. Plus, with Darius Heyward-Bey healthy, you already have a deep threat with just as good a chance to catch the bell and with epic straight line speed. Remember, he was clocked by his helmet device as registering 22 MPH in camp. As for Ayers, he reminds me of the 2010 playoff version of Antonio Brown. The kid could come up big.
- I want Bill Cowher to run for the presidency in 2020. His response to the Bradshaw on Tomin comments were diplomacy at it's core definition.
- Like Arthur Moats, I go crazy every time "Renegade" comes on. However, I'm ready to shake up the playlist a bit and do a long distance dedication for some Queen come February...and I'm not talking "Fat Bottomed Girls".
- Ndamukong Suh has smarts. He is a much more cerebral a villain than Vontaze Burfict. Suh is more Michael Corleone to Burfict’s Sonny Corleone. I wanted to do a “Luca Brasi sleeps with the fishes” reference, but I knew just how quick you comment sharks would cyber-circle me like sharks to chum because Dolphins are mammals not fish.
- With the Steelers playing the Dolphins this weekend, Primanti Brothers restaurants are banning fish sandwiches this weekend to show solidarity to the Steelers and "the Correcty Correctorsons" of cyberspace are already giving them flack because of the whole mammal thing stated above. They acknowledged that and have stated that they are just having fun. My take is that dolphins consume fish, so ha! I hope they play Kansas City even more now, just to see what sandwich goes on hiatus next.
- How scary really is a dolphin as a mascot? You’ve got Flipper and those weird CGI jobbies from the 1993 G’N’R video, “Estranged”. Why Axl thought that was a good idea is beyond logical thought. The most frightening portrayal of one has to be the “Simpson’s” episode from November 1, 2000. In the “Tree House of Horror XI” installment “Day of the Dolphin”, Marineland-type killer dolphins revolt and take over the world. Mayor Quimby has a funny line in it, but you would have to look it up yourselves. I think using the word “horny” in a sports article may be frowned upon.
- I wonder what Hank Poteat is doing these days.
Until next time, 1985’s "Home Sweet Home” had Vince, Tommy, Nikki and Mick say it best...”Just when things went right, doesn't mean they were always wrong. Just take this song and you’ll never be left all alone.”
Take that for what it’s worth and Go Steelers!