A survival guide for those going to a Steelers game on the cheap

I attended the Steelers' Week 2 matchup against the Vikings at Heinz Field on Sunday, and even though I'm not a family of four, this could really have set me back financially.

But it didn't. And why?

Because I'm a very cheap individual.

How cheap you ask? I'm so cheap that I sometimes spend three hours enjoying myself at a Steelers game for free.

How do I manage that, you ask?

I’m offered free tickets to games during periods when the Steelers are kind of lame. That's not much fun because it involves sitting in sub-zero temperatures in December, watching a below-.500 team play out the string.

Okay, so going for free isn't exactly "fire" as the kids say today, but going for the price of the ticket and no more is quite achievable—it simply takes discipline.

Take this past Sunday, for example.

My buddy offered me one of his tickets at face-value (actually, I think he may have given me a break on the price). And my plans were the same as they've always been the past few years when invited to a Steelers game:

I parked in the West End and walked over the West End Bridge to Heinz Field.

It was about a 25-minute walk, one way, and parking didn't cost a penny. Can you stand a 25-minute walk (50 minutes, both ways)? Judging by the parking prices near the stadium that range from about $25-$60 (you read that second number right), my guess is no.

Too bad, because we could all use a little exercise, and we could all stand to save anywhere from $25-$60.

What about concessions? What about tailgating?

Screw both of those things.

Yes, you read that right. Who cares about drinking beer for hours in the parking lot before a game? Who cares about grilling (insert meat here) and then feasting on it in the parking lot before a game?

And, really, who cares about spending $8 for a beer (1948 numbers) at the concession stands inside the stadium?

Actually, judging by the length of time I spent waiting in line at the men's room during halftime of the Vikings game, a lot of people care a great deal about everything I just wrote pertaining to grilled meat and beer.

But I don't care, and you want to know why?

I can go three or four hours without eating grilled meat and drinking beer. In fact, I do it all the time.

I'm in the middle of doing it right now, as a matter of fact.

So there you go. If you follow my plan the next time the Steelers have a game at Heinz Field, you’ll save anywhere from $25-$1,000,000.

Happy saving!

P.S. If you, in fact, are a family of four and/or have a wife/girlfriend/kids, and you invite them to a Steelers game, none of what I just wrote will be of any help to you.

I'm sorry.