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Steelers NFL Draft 2017: Don't take stock in the Mock

Who are the Steelers picking in the 2017 NFL draft? Nobody really knows. But while enjoying 793 different mock drafts, take them with a grain of salt.

NFL: 2015 NFL Draft Dennis Wierzbicki-USA TODAY Sports

I live by one very simple code. Well, that's not entirely true. I actually have found myself as having adopted thousands of different philosophies, I just choose what ever fits the climate at the time. This particular time of year, the weather men of NFL fandom is guaranteeing mostly sunny with a 100% chance of mock drafts.

Translation: Mostly cloudy with a 100% chance of pandemonium and egged-faces on draft day. That simple code...Never trust a fart and never trust a mock draft.

The first one is self explanatory, we've all been there. Thank the heavens for dark trousers and the potent cocktail of Shout/Oxy-Clean. The last one, to quote the lyrical-genius that is Treach from Naughty By Nature in the 1991 not-so-monogamous classic "O.P.P.", "Well that's not that simple".

NFL fans have been scammed for many a (Warren) moon when it comes to forecasting the draft. Sure, the top four or five might be obvious, but that's not always for certain either. The experts don't really know. Hell, the only thing Mel Kiper Jr. ever picked correctly is his toupee, and I don't even know how good of a choice that was. Charlie Casserley, Todd McShay and friends seem to do a new mock every 16 minutes. Even here at BTSC, we offer weekly predictions. Most draft prognosticators offer up so many different mocks so they can boast their one correct choice for each team as correct. It's like Norm in accounting turning in 29 different March Madness brackets. Everybody hates Norm. Even Norm secretly loathes himself.

The Steelers, this season have been linked to seemingly everybody not named Myles Garrett or Mitch Trubisky. I swear one mock draft had them picking up Danny Devito with the thirtieth pick, but that might be brain fatigue. The fact is that mocks, albeit fun, are nothing but a guessing game. Some mockers just pull out a name that nobody else has, just to be innovative. I could name twenty different names that I've seen mocked to Pittsburgh at 30, but that would be a waste of both of your time and mine.

But then again, I love wasting your time. So here goes...

Taco Charlton - Michigan

Takkarist McKinley - UCLA

Jabrill Peppers - Michigan

Sidney Jones - Washington

Mike Williams - Clemson

DeShone Kizer - Notre Dame

Tim Williams - Alabama

Derek Barnett - Texas

John Ross - Washington

Charles Harris - Missouri

Haason Reddick - Temple

Pat Mahomes - Texas Tech

T.J. Watt - Wisconsin

Carl Lawson - Auburn

Corey Davis - Western Michigan

David Njoku - Miami

Obi Melifonwu - Connecticut

Kevin King - Washington

Adoree’ Jackson - USC

Tre’Davious White - LSU

I guarantee that I missed some too.

Before the rest of you go off on "the author" in the comments about hating on all things NFL holy and grasping at straws to find material in the offseason (that part is true), know that I love mock drafts. Know that I crave mock drafts. Know that I can't live without mock drafts. But know that I don't trust them, just like I don't trust what I so naively perceived to be my own flatulence over the years. I have a waste basket full of underwear that proves that sad point.