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Random Thoughts From a Black-and-Gold Mind: Kansas City Edition

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The Pittsburgh Steelers are a team looking to shock the world, and it has our resident Steelers maniac’s cranium in a conundrum.

Jacksonville Jaguars v Pittsburgh Steelers Photo by Joe Sargent/Getty Images

The Steelers were embarrassed last week at home against Jacksonville in a manner as devastatingly as Sissy Spacek drenched in pig's blood in Stephen King's Carrie. As disillusioned as I was, I'm looking for a vengeful Steelers team to go after the William Kaats (even though he became the Greatest American Hero) and John Travoltas portrayed in Week 6 by the undefeated Chiefs. So of course, my black-and-gold mind is a sow bucket of insanity right now. As always, I like to force these thoughts into the thinking caps of others. That's where you come in. But first, society insists that I beg forgiveness for and to all that I offended last week. So a feast of forgiveness is served up with regard to the following:

  • Reminding the world of that monstrosity known as Problem Child and Problem Child 2. Even the genius that was John Ritter couldn't save it.
  • Failing to mention Sinbad, Robert Loggia, the incomparable Hector Elizondo and Jason Bateman when referencing Necessary Rougness.
  • Insinuating that your wife used to date the town flasher.
  • Carlos Emmons
  • That I didn't put up an audio link to Genesis' That's All.

And now Random Thoughts From a Black-and-Gold Mind.

  • Some fans think Ben Roethlisberger looks like a shell of his former greatness lately. It was kind of like watching Geraldo Rivera on television these days—mediocre. Chuck Noll used to quip that "if you're talking about retiring, you already have." I hope that isn't the case because I'm not ready to see pictures of Ben in leisure pants hiked up to his man boobs playing shuffleboard.
  • Ben told Aditi Kinkhabwala of NFL.com, "I'm a gunfighter and I lost. But I'm a cowboy," I get comparing yourself to "Wild Bill" Hickok and I completely agree. But when you lose a gunfight, Ben, you die. Maybe he should have compared himself to a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and said, "I'm a first-grader's lunch, I got stolen by bullies and half-eaten before being left in the cafeteria for the school weirdo to snack on".
  • Actually I think Ben is going to pull it together. He has a history of rallying back from early on in the season to thrive down the stretch. Ben cares too much. I think this is just a bad dream like the TV series Dallas in 1986. I fully expect Ben to pull a Patrick Duffy and walk out of the proverbial shower.
  • Le’Veon Bell is frustrated that he only got 15 carries against Jacksonville. The fans agree with him and I do as well. But this team airs too much dirty laundry and would be better served to keep things in house. We need to see less of "throwing it under the bus" and more James Harrison-like discretion.
  • Of course, James isn't completely quiet. His social media attitude is passive-aggressively showing his disapproval in not playing—he’s just not openly questioning the coaches in the media. The Steelers can't stop the run and James can. Deebo needs to be given the opportunity to play now and it looks like that’ll be the case on Sunday.
New Orleans Saints v Pittsburgh Steelers Photo by Gregory Shamus/Getty Images
  • Some thought-camps believe the Steelers are going to Antonio Brown too much. But when you have that kind of route-running talent, you use it. Mixing in more runs and more play action, though, will open up more opportunities for No. 84. It's like having great computer software and being lonely in Illinois in 1985. If you don't create a hot woman a la Kelly LeBrock like the dweebs in Weird Science did, you’re nothing but foolish and wasting good resources.
  • Looks like Eli Rogers will escape Mike Tomlin's doghouse and play this weekend. A Rogers reemergence can be a much needed spark for the offense and the play of No. 7 as well.
  • Is more Roosevelt Nix on offense a possible answer to the woes of the running game? Can't hurt. Just like wearing a Breathe-Right strip is a good idea to snore less and keep your wife from moving out of the house or in with a guy named Julio.
  • The Steelers’ front office performed two goodwill acts this week. Retiring Santonio Holmes as a Steeler and donating (along with a Oakland, New England and Dallas) $250K to Mexican earthquake relief was nice to see.

And finally,

  • I wonder what Bob Kohrs is doing these days

Until next time, the Steelers’ stretch of two losses in three games has me thinking of some lyrics by the great Jackson Browne.

Looking out at the road rushing under my wheels

I don't know how to tell you all just how crazy this life feels

Look around for the friends that I used to turn to to pull me through

Looking into their eyes I see them running too

Running on, running on empty.

Running on, running blind

Running on, running into the sun

But I'm running behind

...Take that for what it's worth and Go Steelers!