Random Thoughts From a Black and Gold Mind: Offseason Nonsense Edition

While players get a chance to revitalize and get healthy during the break between seasons, my black and gold mind doesn't get rest much in the offseason. There is still a tsunami of senselessness ravaging the coastlines of my skull. With that being said, BTSC readers get to indulge in my idiocy.

But first, I must order up a side dish of sorries for who, what and why I offended last time around.

• The lonely rubber of an 80s teen trapped in a velcro wallet
• Jake Butt, for thinking his last name is hilarious
• Ben Roethlisberger
• Yinzer accents
• Andrew W.K.
• Clint Kriewaldt

Now for random thoughts from a black and gold mind...

• Chad"Ochocinco"Johnson is trying everything he can to stay relevant. He scored a TD in Mexico's Liga de Fútbol Americano Professional last week. Then he challenged arguably one of the game's best, Steeler WR Antonio Brown. As a DB covering AB, Ocho got destroyed. In fairness, he is 39 and never played the position in the pros. Oh no! A DB that gets burnt easily, I hope Kevin Colbert didn't watch the video and go "Hmmmmmmm".
• I said my piece in an ill-received commentary earlier this week about Le'Veon Bell's April Fools "joke". I'm serious when I type that I really don't think that he was completely joking. There were serious undertones in there.
• I'm glad that Ben Roethlisberger has made his intent to play in 2017 official. But although just like I'm sure that a Smurf's butt is blue, this will be an annual guessing game until Ben actually hangs it up.
• Speaking of Big Ben, I'm currently vacationing in England. That was a disappointment when I learned it was a clock that I was going to see and not a large man with a seven on his chest. I think Steeler Nation has the better double-B. Then again, you never see the one in London throw across his body into triple coverage or get hurt and have to be replaced by Landry Jones. That would be bad. I'm not sure how great Landry can tell time either.
• Chris Hubbard's signing of his RFA tender works out well for both parties. The Steelers get a guy for another year that can play all over the line and Hubbard gets $1.79 Million to audition for a big pay day in 2018.
• The more that I think about the Tyson Alualu signing from a few weeks back, the more I get excited about his strengthening the depth of the d-line. While not a blockbuster inking, I'm thinking we will look back happily on this deal in January.
• With the draft coming up, I'd love to see the Steelers take Ashland's Adam Shaheen in the second stanza. The TE is 6'6"/278 lbs and had 16 touchdowns last season and 10 the year before. Shaheen is no secret though and has been rocketing up draft boards. The prospect from D-II started his collegiate career playing hoops at (my alma mater) Pitt-Johnstown before switching sports and schools. I don't care if the guy didn't play against D-I competition. 26 TDs in two seasons is Gronk-like. If he scored like that in Pittsburgh, I wouldn't care if he danced shirtless or showed up and inserted himself in action at Wrestlemania like the aforementioned Pats TE.
• Speaking of the tight end position, I'm hoping that Ladarius Green is vacationing this offseason at a bubble wrap factory.
• Speaking of ex-Chargers with concussion woes, I still think Brandon Flowers ends up in Pittsburgh on a one year deal. That's like finally using that condom that's been in your wallet for eight years. You're hoping to get some use out of it, but you're not holding your breath that it's going to hold up and work out.

And finally...

• I wonder what Warren Williams is doing these days.

Until next time, ponder the significance of the 1983 reunion of Bernie Taupin and Elton John's I'm Still Standing.

And did you think this fool could never win.

Well look at me I'm coming back again.

I got a taste of love in a simple way.

And if you need to know, while I'm still standing you just fade away.

Take that for what it's worth, and Go Steelers.