It's been a while since I've done one of these, so you know my brain is bonanza of black and gold giddiness after the draft and game withdrawal. But before I get on with "my bad self". Yes, I know nobody says that anymore. But truthfully, I never have used that phrase in my life and it's my column so I shall get jiggy with it. I should probably apologize for that last one though.
Speaking of apologies, I'm pretty sure that I offended a whole host of humans and then some last time around. So out comes my sack to stuff some sorries into.
So a heartfelt apology goes out to and for the following transgressions...
- Referencing a smurf's buttocks.
- Insinuating that Landry Jones can't tell time.
- Insulting England
- For mentioning Gronk and not preceding it with "that buffoon".
- For proposing the encasing of Ladarius Green in bubble wrap.
- Bernie Taupin
- Forgetting to put the "Sir" in front of Elton John
- For being wrong about virtually everything draft related.
And now for the latest installment of random thoughts...
- Yeah I teared up when Franco Harris and Jerome Bettie saluted Mr. Dan Rooney at the NFL draft. Very nice tribute.
- I'm pretty optimistic about the Steelers 2017 draft class. But I was also pretty excited for my first marriage, the McDLT, the 1985 leakage of nude pictures of Madonna and 1983's After M*A*S*H. All were busts (Pun intended). But really, I think it was a well-executed draft. It was kind of like a Russian mail-order bride. You're not sure what you're going to get, but It addresses needs, you hope to get lots of production right away and you'll eventually have to pay handsomely.
- The Steelers are the only team in the AFC North that didn't draft a player that had character issues. Baltimore took Tim Williams, Cleveland selected Caleb Brantley and the Bengals added Joe Mixon to their cell block.....I mean locker room. Seriously dudes, the Steelers are aware that you don't have to have off field problems to have on field success.
- Drafting high-character players doesn't mean that all is right in the Steeler locker room though. The Twitter battle between Martavis Bryant and Sammie Coates was like school on Saturday, no class. My apologies to Fat Albert for ripping off his joke. Bryant needs to keep his blunt-hole shut coming back from suspension. Coates was only defending himself, but I'm still not sold on his maturity after his involvement in the AB Facebook Live shenanigans.
- I think the Atlanta Falcons got a blockbuster player in Tak McKinley. However, they may have also invested in the kind of crazy and poor tact found in that nutty theatre-student you dated in college before she completely freaked out, dropped out and ended up a barista at a Starbucks knockoff joint. Look I didn’t mind the WWE-style tribute. He's pumped and he deserves to be. But f-bombing and putting "the G with the D" while holding a picture of your deceased grandma is probably not the tribute she deserves. When you stun Deion Sanders, you know you went over the top.
- I'm bummed to see LB Akil Blount get released. He's a legacy of a legendary Steeler. I had that hope that he could be a defensive monster like Mel.
- I realize that Disney's "Moana" hit theaters in November. But now that it's been released on DVD, my daughter (age eight) plays it constantly. I begrudgingly accepted it because "the Rock" is pretty awesome. But I recently found out that Troy Polamalu voiced Villager No. 1. Now, it's the greatest movie ever. I'm holding out hope that Disney realizes the reach of Steeler Nation and green lights "Moana 2: The Rise of Villager No.1". Too bad they didn't think outside the box earlier. Just think how much better "Beauty and the Beast" would've been with James Harrison in the lead role.
- Ben Roethlisberger has recently kissed and made up with his hometown of Findlay in Ohio. That's good news for both sides. But regardless of his roots, Ben has proven to be a true Pittsburgh guy. Watching him at the Pens game the other night was cool to see. Pittsburgh athletes support the other teams from other sports real well. It's cool to see.
- Earlier, I mentioned my displeasure with Martavis Bryant for his tweets saying that the drafting of JuJu Smith-Schuster was to replace Sammie Coates. But I think he's right on. If they can score a seventh rounder on Labor Day weekend for Coates, it would be a smart move.
- Speaking of JJSS, you may complain about the Steelers spending a second rounder on a wide receiver, but you're going to love it soon enough.
- I wonder what Willie Williams is doing these days.
Until next time, to quote the aforementioned Dwayne Johnson from "Moana"..."What can I say except you're welcome?"
Take that for what it's worth, and Go Steelers and Penguins.