Let me ask you, when you punch your living room wall out of frustration, it feels really good, doesn't it?
Yes, until you immediately discover you put a hole in said wall and realize you won't be getting your security deposit back.
I opened the article with that rhetorical question and answer, because you must get off on such behavior, given your penchant for going on social media/radio shows and demanding superstar players get cut or traded the second they do anything that offends your sensibilities.
"That tweet was disrespectful, they need to get rid of this guy!"
"Holding out of camp is the last straw, they need to tell him where he can shove his 2,000 yards from scrimmage and just cut this selfish jerk!"
That first pseudo quote could have been a response to something former Steelers running back Rashard Mendenhall may have tweeted back in the day. But that second fake quote absolutely resembles a popular response to current Steelers running back Le'Veon Bell's holdout, which has lasted all of training camp and likely won't end until September 1, if his tweet from Tuesday night is to be believed.
Anyway, back to you, Mr., Mrs. or Ms. Seventh Heaven, you really want the Steelers to get rid of the best running back in the NFL, simply because he decided to skip camp in the wake of being franchise tagged in the spring and not getting the long-term deal he wanted in the summer?
Why on earth would you want that, addition by subtraction? To quote the great Michael Scott: "What does that even mean? That is impossible."
It is certainly impossible in the case of Bell, perhaps the most dynamic and talented running back in franchise history, a player who simply must be accounted for by opposing defensive coordinators, this despite the presence of Ben Roethlisberger and Antonio Brown in the same lineup most Sundays.
I know what you're going to say, yes DeAngelo Williams looked really good filling in for Bell in 2015, when the former was suspended for the first two games and ultimately lost for the year after suffering an MCL tear.
Williams also looked great last year, as Bell sat out the first three games while serving yet another suspension.
Yes, the coaches were so impressed with Williams last year, he barely saw any action after Bell was reinstated for Week 4.
I also know what you're going to say, "James Conner!"
Don't get me wrong, I love Conner (just like I loved DeAngelo and admired his skills) and think he can be a serviceable back (and maybe more) in the NFL one day, but come on.
Face it, Bell is the best in the business and can pretty much do it all. And when I say "do it all," it's literally true. Not only is Bell the best combination of runner and receiver in the league, he may actually be the best combination of runner, receiver, short-yardage back and blitz-picker-upper in the NFL.
In other words, how can you possibly take that guy off the field in 2017, even if the rookie Conner shows a lot of promise and may be capable of starting in the not-so-distant future?
I realize Bell is a huge pain in the butt, has been injured multiple times and, again, missed five games over the past two seasons due to drug-related suspensions—including those three in 2016.
Actually, he missed four, but that's because Tomlin held him out of action in the Week 17 finale against the Browns at Heinz Field.
If you throw in the two subsequent postseason games in-which he was a full-participant and workhorse, Bell posted an astounding 2,221 yards from scrimmage in just 14 games last year.
Okay, you get it, Bell is really, really good, historically good, relative to Steelers running backs. But if you get that, why would you want to part ways with him? Why are you so angry because of his camp holdout?
Maybe you think Bell truly is a selfish player, in light of the story Pittsburgh Post-Gazette reporter and Steelers beat writer Ed Bouchette published last week which claimed the All-Pro running back nixed a five-year deal that would have paid him roughly $30 million over the first two seasons.
Perhaps in base-salary, but what about that all-important guaranteed money? That's the part that is always conveniently left out of these stories that paint the Steelers in a generous light and Bell in a greedy one.
As I've written before, if the guaranteed money wasn't any greater than the $12.1 million he will receive by signing the franchise tag, what's the point of agreeing to a five-year deal? To give himself long-term security?
It wouldn't give him long-term security (at least beyond the $12.1 million, of course) , and that's the nature of NFL contracts, which is why the guaranteed money is paramount these days.
The Steelers are reportedly pretty chapped by Bell's actions of waiting until the very last second to sign the franchise tender, especially since the two sides were forbidden to negotiate any further after the July 17 deadline to reach a long-term contract came and went.
Even some of Bell's teammates, like Roethlisberger and Brown have (sort of) publicly chastised him for holding out, but those guys have both maximized their market value with multiple long-term deals throughout their respective careers.
Alright, you get it, Bell is a valuable asset, the NFL is a business, and he's just trying to get paid.
But what about conditioning, timing, getting acclimated to hitting?
Why didn't it seem to matter the past two years, when he had to stay away from the team during his suspensions?
I know what you're going to say, at least he participated in those respective training camps.
True, but Bell has carried the football 1,579 since his first year at Michigan State back in 2010; I'm pretty sure he remembers what it's like to get hit.
What about timing and team chemistry? What about his selfishness?
Holdouts have been a part of sports since people started getting paid to play them.
Why is it that the modern sports fan always acts as if anything that happens is the first time that it's happened?
Legendary receiver Hines Ward held out of training camp for 15 days back in the summer of 2005, and not only don't I remember any fans calling for his release (this was obviously a few years before the advent of social media), he went on to be named Super Bowl XL MVP.
Hall of Fame cornerback Rod Woodson held out for half of his rookie season in 1987 and even threatened to go to the 1988 Summer Olympics to participate in the 100-meter hurdles. Sure, WPXI produced a mocking video and song that included lyrics such as "Hurdle, hurdle, hum." But all that stuff was quickly forgotten, once Woodson eventually reported to the team and returned an interception for a touchdown in his very first game.
Joe Greene held out of his first training camp back in 1969. You know what broke the deadlock? The late Art Rooney ultimately said to someone (maybe Dan) "Awww, just give it to him!"
Mel Blount held out.
Jack Lambert held out.
It's funny, people have actually criticized Bell's workout videos this summer. You know what Lambert probably did during his training camp holdout back in the summer of 1977? It's not a stretch to say he smoked countless cigarettes (maybe even while working out).
In fact, Lambert famously smoked many in the locker room and, urban legend has it, on the sidelines during his Hall of Fame career.
Anyway, want to read something spooky? Here is a link to a Chicago Tribune article from 40 years ago that covers Lambert's new contract with the Steelers.
The date? September 1, 1977.
But, yeah, Bell's training camp holdout is unprecedented in the history of professional sports, and it will likely bring the team down.
Moving on to health.
"But Bell can't stay healthy for a whole season! Case-in-point, he suffered a groin injury in the playoffs last year, one that led to offseason surgery."
Exactly. Why would you want him to take a bunch of hits during training camp? Let that man save his body.
The bottom line in all of this: the Steelers exercised their collectively bargained right to place the franchise tag on Bell. And Bell is exercising his collectively bargained right by not signing it until the last possible minute.
In Average Joe work terms, Bell had some vacation days to use, and he waited until the holiday season to take them. A jerky thing to do? Perhaps, but let's face it, the boss always over-schedules for Christmas anyway.
Finally, with the exception of the Immaculate Reception, everything has already been done in sports—including countless training camp holdouts involving the six-time Super Bowl champion Steelers. So, please, stop calling for Le'Veon Bell's trade or release.
What does that even mean? That is impossible.