clock menu more-arrow no yes

Filed under:

The Steelers need to get with the times and get cheerleaders

New, comments

The Steelers need to move into the 21st century and hire cheerleaders.

NFL: Dallas Cowboys at Los Angeles Rams Jayne Kamin-Oncea-USA TODAY Sports

When it was reported on August 1 that the Steelers had unveiled plans to start their own Hall of Honor, I thought, "Cool, that's kind of like the Cowboys Ring of Honor."

I think it's fantastic that the Steelers will now have a place where perhaps forgotten legends can be immortalized for eternity, and given the rich history of the franchise, it's probably long over-due.

Speaking of over-due, not long after that great news came to light, I started lamenting the fact that the Cowboys have their own cheerleaders.

And for that matter, so do the Ravens, Bengals, Patriots, the list goes on and on.

Why so behind the times, Pittsburgh?

I mean, this is the same organization that, in the early-1950's, was still employing the single-wing while the rest of the NFL had long-since switched to the T formation.

We're talking about a franchise that didn't start using the shotgun formation until 1989, long after the innovative Tom Landry and his Cowboys began utilizing it 14 years earlier.

Which circles the discussion back to cheerleaders.

How awesome would it be to have cheerleaders to gaze at at Heinz Field every Sunday afternoon?

And the benefits wouldn't end at a pleasant viewing experience, either.

Think about the practical purposes of having the Steelers Stunners (my current working name for the group, but my mind is racing with creativity, so who knows?) come out of the tunnel at Heinz Field to get you riled up for a game.

What about the entertainment value?

Picture Antonio Brown scoring a touchdown and going over to a few of Cowher's Flowers and having them join in on one of his choreographed celebrations.

Or what if Brown ran to the sidelines and pseudo proposed to one of McBeam's Babes a la Chad Johnson and a Bengals cheerleader many years ago?

Imagine all the hype it would generate on social media. Obviously, it would wind up on that night's Sportscenter, as well.

That's right, how awesome would that be?

And it goes without saying how much the Twerking Terrible Towelettes could come in handy during an important game when the breaks are beating the boys, and they need some inspiration to pull out a victory.

"Do you hear them chanting 'defense!'?" head coach Mike Tomlin would rhetorically ask late in the fourth quarter, with the team needing a stop. "They're not blinking, because they know what the standard is. Don't you dare blink, or I'll cut your eyelids off! Let's go!"

Which brings me to the most awesome reason for having cheerleaders: It would significantly improve Renegade.

While you may get pumped up now whenever the Styx classic comes blaring through the speakers at Heinz Field as a means to give the defense a little edge with the game hanging in the balance, I'll bet you and the players would be doubly-excited to have the song accompanied by an orchestrated performance by Lambert's Lovely Ladies at the 50-yard line.

Oh mama, I have goosebumps just thinking about it, and you and I both know the other team would certainly have a high price on its head after the TV timeout.

Anyway, that's my two-cents on a topic that is very near and dear to Steelers fans. Maybe this article will open up dialogue with all the right people.

Come on, Art Rooney II, do the right thing for your fans.