clock menu more-arrow no yes mobile

Filed under:

Random Thoughts From a Black-and-gold Mind: "Rock This Town" edition

BTSC's resident wacko shares his Steeler brain droppings. Beware, it's a cesspool of insanity in there.

NFL: AFC Wild Card-Miami Dolphins at Pittsburgh Steelers James Lang-USA TODAY Sports

How could it be possible that my black-and-gold brain wouldn't be a mosh pit of maniacal meandering? It's not. It's hours away from being game day and I'm ready to pass the ravings on to you.

But first, I feel compelled to apologize for the buttermilk of belligerence that I spilt last week. So a gallon of guilt goes out to and for the following...

  • To anybody who has taken their significant other to Arbys for their anniversary
  • For sparking the debate on why Ruth's Chris steakhouse is actually named that way and for the implication that Ruth owns Chris like slave labor.
  • Stealing our future president's catchphrase. I'm sorry Dwayne "the Rock" Johnson. We all smell what you're cookin'.
  • The referring to Allen Funt
  • Making fun of Mike Tomlin's overuse of phrases. However, if he was anywhere near the corpse of Seabiscuit...he would surely beat it.
  • Coeds who can't hold their liquor
  • Joe Haden's earmuff size
  • The Pittsburgh Pirates and their ineptitude at the GM position
  • The disaster that was seasons six and seven of Laverne and Shirley. Moving everybody that the girls ever knew in Milwaukee to Burbank was the best idea in television history. I blame you Big Ragu...no, not Ramon Foster.
  • Badgering my editor regarding my prediction of a Steeler WR trade and bragging about it at nauseum until he finally gave me props in an editor's note. Thanks Jeff.
  • Making you (and me for that matter) hum a Patti Labelle song all weekend long.

And now for this week's edition of Random Thoughts From a Black and Gold Mind.

  • Cam Heyward reworked his deal clearing around 3 million frog-skins for the Steelers to play with. He's basically handing it down the line. It landed in Stephon Tuitt's pockets before kickoff on Sunday.
Kansas City Chiefs v Pittsburgh Steelers Photo by Justin K. Aller/Getty Images
  • Myles Garrett's proclamation of his plans for Ben Roethlisberger to "come for him first, to chop him down" will have to wait awhile after Garrett's high ankle sprain renders him out for Sunday. Garrett may have to wait until 2018 to pull a "Paul Bunyan" on Big Ben. If the Steelers are able to clinch a playoff spot before Week 17, Garrett would have to swing his ax at Landry Jones instead.
  • This Bud Dupree injury has me as worried as a guy with heroin duct taped to his thigh in a Bangkok airport.
  • I seriously have never sided with Stephen A. Smith on anything. But what was Le'Veon Bell's problem with Smith? I thought the loudmouth from ESPN was on the money and actually complimentary of Bell with his comments.
  • I love listening to Joe Haden speak already. He comes off with class and hearing him declare that he's "all in" is encouraging.
  • I'd love to know what price Joe Haden had to pay to get his second choice of numbers from Robert Golden. After not getting No. 23 from Mike Mitchell, Haden turned to Golden and negotiated for the No. 21...a number he initially tried to get as a rookie in Cleveland. Although he didn't crash into his car without insurance like a 1993 Seinfeld episode arc, wouldn't it be funny if Haden had to be Golden's butler?
  • So Golden lost his number but gained an alleged lucrative, albeit undisclosed bounty. However, Golden basically took No. 20 from Cam Sutton. Sutton will now don the No. 34 when he emerges from IR.
  • In other numeral news, Mike Hilton will don Donnie Shell's digits and wear the No. 31 vacated by Ross Cockrell. Meanwhile, LS Kameron Canaday switches from the four-six to No. 57. I haven't seen this many digits being exchanged since my days of partying at Studio 54 in 1978. What can I say, I was a cool and suave 7-year-old.
  • J.J. Wilcox is a supreme hitter. If you haven't watched the video posted on BTSC of his highlights, do it now. Well, wait until after the obligatory song lyrics at the end of this column. Buccaneer defender Gerald McCoy named Wilcox as one of the most impressive players on their team. That's high praise. Against the Steelers last November, Wilcox (as a Cowboy) was whacking Steelers like he was Paulie Walnuts of the Sopranos.
Dallas Cowboys v Green Bay Packers Photo by Dylan Buell/Getty Images
  • I have to pull out the Lee Corso card and "not so fast my friend" all of you that are declaring the Patriots as done already. While the New England loss is positive for Steeler Nation, it's one game and there is nothing more dangerous than a pissed-off Bill Belichick. Just like "the Hulk", you won't like "the hoodie" when he's angry.
  • The Chiefs have been inserted as a Super Bowl favorite now with their dismantling of the Pats. However, que Lee Corso. Eric Berry is now out for the season with the Achilles injury. He's the heart and soul of the KC defense. Let's wait until January to print Super Bowl ducats for anybody, shall we.
  • Sammie Coates will show up in this game for Cleveland. Just like Haden could exact revenge on the team that cut him, a healthy Coates could burn the Steelers with his speed. That would be like Adam Banks scoring the game winning goal on a triple-deke to defeat his former Hawks team in 1992's Mighty Ducks.

And Finally...

  • I wonder what Scoop Gillespie is doing these days.

Even though I really like the song Cleveland Rocks, that's their anthem and frankly I think they're undeserving of such a great tune. When I think of what will happen when the Steelers roll into Cleveland to battle the Browns...I'm reminded more of a song from 1982 by the rockabilly trio called the Stray Cats.

Like Brian Setzer crooned...

Well, we're having a ball just 'a bopping on the big dance floor

Well, there's a real square cat, he looks a 1974

Well, he looked at me once, he looked at me twice

Look at me again and there's gonna be fight

We're gonna rock this town

We're gonna rip this place apart

Take that for what its worth and Go Steelers!