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Random Thoughts from a Black and Gold Mind: New attitude edition

BTSC's resident maestro of mayhem opens up his crazy cranium. Be careful it's squirrelly in there.

Cleveland Browns v Buffalo Bills Photo by Tom Szczerbowski/Getty Images

The NFL season is like an apple pie warming on an old lady's window. The anticipation is killing you because it's so close you can taste it. With the final preseason games concluding last night, and the excitement regarding the surprise talent acquisitions this week, my black-and-gold brain is in a frenzy of frivolity and you get the first shot at a timeshare in my mind.

But first, I find myself needing to apologize to those I may have offended last time around. So, a three rivers of regret goes out to and for . . .

  • The graphic description of passing a kidney stone
  • Referencing all of the colorful misters from Reservoir Dogs and their musical accompaniment of Stuck In The Middle Wuth You, without mentioning the ironic name of the band that performed the song...Stealers Wheels
  • The shameless alluding to Paris Hilton's sex tapes while referencing Mike Hilton. No relation that I'm aware of.
  • Comparing the combo of T.J. Watt and James Harrison to the unholy musical union of Michael Jackson and Paul McCartney.
  • Elvis Costello
  • Mike Merriweather

Without further inane babbling, welcome to Random Thoughts from a Black and Gold Mind.

  • Detractors, especially Cleveland media, are talking about how terrible Joe Haden was last year. With two groin tears, Haden had 11 pass defenses and three picks in 13 games for a team that got very little pressure on the quarterback last year. For the Steelers, Artie Burns and Ross Cockrell both played in 16 contests with Burns having three picks/13 pass defenses and Cockrell with zero INTs/14 pass defenses. So playing hurt, participating in excruciating pain, and in less games, Haden's production was pretty much just as good. A healthy Haden would represent a major improvement. If not, then I'm not sure what is. It's kind of like getting reservations for Ruth's Chris Steakhouse for your anniversary when last year you dined at Arby’s. Basically the potential for a better return on investment is there, if you smell what I'm cookin'.
  • If injuries have hampered Haden to the point that the CB doesn't return to Pro Bowl form, I will not change my mind on how important this signing is. It's kind of Belichickean in a way. It represents the Steelers going out of their comfort zone and going for it. It's like asking the hot girl to the prom and she accepts your invitation. Then you rush to a mirror to see if it's really you in the reflection and start searching for Allen Funt and the Candid Camera crew.
  • I just love Tomlinisms. I used to think that an "obviously" drinking game would make sense for every time he used that word in a press conference, but coeds would have died in mass fashion. Also, I think he kind of caught on and is aware of his overuse of the word. But now the classification of his players as varsity and JV is pretty hilarious...and somewhat demoralizing to the players. But mostly hilarious.
  • How soon is too soon to reference the size of Joe Haden's ears? Okay, I’ll wait.
  • Extending Kevin Colbert's contract through the 2020 season was a great move and Colbert deserved the reward. I wish that scientists could clone him and his double could GM for the Pirates.
  • I don't think Colbert is done. I would be surprised if he isn't dangling Sammie Coates, Cobi Hamilton or Justin Hunter for a late draft pick to a WR hungry team. (Editor’s Note: This article was submitted BEFORE the Coates trade with the Browns. Tip of the cap to B.A.D for the prediction.)
  • The Vance McDonald trade represents very little risk for the Steelers. They basically get a fast TE for the price of moving down one round in next year's draft. If the team chooses, he’s a $2.1M rental if they act before 4/1/18. But I think he’s a great addition. A change of scenery may do McDonald good. Kind of like when Laverne and Shirley moved from working in a Milwaukee brewery to a shoe store in Burbank, California. On second thought, let's hope not.
San Francisco 49ers v Carolina Panthers Photo by Grant Halverson/Getty Images
  • I wouldn't worry to much about the freestyle rap response of Le'Veon Bell to Bud Dupree and Antonio Brown. It's juvenile, but I think it's just a case of locker room chicanery. Except Bell hasn't actually set foot in the locker room in what seems like eons.

And finally...

I wonder what Darnell Stapleton is doing these days.

Super Bowl XLIII Photo by Win McNamee/Getty Images

The player acquisition approach of the Steelers this week makes me think about the Patti Labelle hit from 1984's Beverly Hills Cop. So until next time, remember these poignant lyrics...

I'm feeling good from my hat to my shoe

Know where I am going and I know what to do

I've tidied up my point of view

I've got a new attitude.

  • Take that for what it's worth and Go Steelers!