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Bold and bizarre predictions for the Steelers' divisional playoff vs. Jacksonville

The whacked-out brain behind Random Thoughts from a Black-and-Gold Mind attempts to predict Sunday's match against the Jags.

By Bryan Anthony Davis
Jacksonville Jaguars v Pittsburgh Steelers

My mind comes up with scenarios all of the time whether it's in life or in a Steeler contest. Some are on the money, some are as idiotic as the brother-in-law you tried to get deported (even though he's from this country). Either way, they could happen or I'll just claim that my account was hacked once again. Let's take a look.

  • Jacksonville players continue to shout "Be careful what you ask for" ad nauseum all through the pregame and first half.
  • In response to Jalen Ramsey's "Mike who?" comments, Mike Mitchell sends screen printed towels with his face on it to the Jacksonville sidelines. The towels were cosponsored by the chambers of commerce of both Hell and Haiti. It's his most positive production of the afternoon.
  • Although the Jags don't intercept Ben Roethlisberger five times, Ramsey picks off a BB pass and takes it to the house.
  • However, that's the only pick No. 7 throws as he redeems himself with a solid 270-yard game and a TD throw.
  • Le'Veon Bell fakes a concussion and exits the game for a series to record a rap video about not wanting to be franchise tagged in 2018 in the medical examination tent.
  • Bell still finishes with 150 total yards on the afternoon.
  • JuJu Smith-Schuster gets in the end zone and receives a delay of game penalty for commandeering a snow plow and clearing the outer reaches of the stadium of all of the excess snow.
  • Tight ends Jesse James and Vance McDonald combine for ten catches, 100 yards and a score.
  • Blake Bortles fails to crack 100 yards again against Pittsburgh, but does it on the ground. Leonard Fournette does not.
  • In an unprecedented move, referees throw 15-yard penalties on both teams to be enforced on two third-and-long situations to be named later in the AFC Championship against New England.
  • The Steelers overcome a stifling Jag defense and squeak by with a 19-17 victory.
  • However, the Patriots are awarded 6-points to start the AFCCG. Why? Because they're the Patriots.

Will any of these predictions come true? Probably not, but on any given Sunday...you know the rest.

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