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Random Thoughts From a Black-and-Gold Mind: The AFC Title Game

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Our resident Black-and-Gold lunatic shares his maniacal mind with thoughts about the Steelers’ AFC Title Game hopes.

Divisional Round - Pittsburgh Steelers v Kansas City Chiefs Photo by Dilip Vishwanat/Getty Images

It's AFC Title Game weekend and our Black-and-Gold warriors are alive and kicking. My Black-and-Gold mind also is swirling with a myriad of emotions. So you get to add my angst to your already nervous bellies once more.

But first, an apple orchard of apology goes out to and for any offense taken last time around.

  • Housekeepers who have succumbed to the lecherous advances of Arnold Schwarzenegger and were subsequently impregnated.
  • Ralph Kramden
  • My coining of the term freshmanic
  • Ric Flair
  • The incomparable John Oates
  • Dateless nerds that attend Star Trek conventions
  • Axl Rose for making fun of his bad video ideas.
  • The coining of the name "Found Money" for the young WR trio of Ayers, Hamilton and Rogers.
  • Anybody opposing my use of "horny" in a sports article
  • Correcty Correctersons of the world
  • Mayor Quimby

and

  • Any of you that couldn't get Queen's "Fat-Bottomed Girls" out of your heads.

And now, the Random Thoughts From A Black-and-Gold Mind...

  • The last time that the Pittsburgh Steelers won the AFC Championship en route to a Super Bowl title, the country was inaugurating a new president. The US having just inaugurated another rookie chief-executive on Friday might serve as a good omen—but is there any such thing as a good omen? I saw the first movie. That Damien scared the living bejeebers out of me. Hence, I no longer possess any bejeebers whatsoever.
  • Bud Dupree doesn't get enough credit. In his nine games for the Steelers since his return, Bud has 5.0 sacks. A full 16-game season thus would probably see Alvin nearly eclipse 10 sacks. Plus, the Steelers have the same amount of losses this year with No. 48 as I have Grammys, Tonys, Oscars, Cable Ace and Adult Video News awards combined.
  • I always tell my wife that I’ve got a sensitive head and that even a minor tap to my skull feels like major brain trauma. I'm a giant pansy sometimes. My thoughts, though, are that Ladarius Green must really have a sensitive head. I'm not making light of it. In fact, we can't begrudge him for not being ready. As much as I want to see No. 89 play, I want the man, not the player, to get head-healthy. A long life trumps a long career. Unfortunately, the player that hit him may never be head-healthy himself, for different reasons.
  • Le'Veon Bell is a patient running back indeed but it doesn't shake out that way if the line isn't opening holes from him. It's comparable to eating dinner, you can't eat a bite if it isn't served to you. It's also kind of like an intimate moment, you can't get it on if Marvin Gaye isn't crooning his approval.
  • I was watching the Facebook Live video as it happened. I had no problem with the celebratory tone and was quite enjoying the laughter and camaraderie that I was viewing, all the while praying that I wouldn't catch a glimpse of anybody's "gentleman sausage". But when the call to "bring it in" came, I assumed that it would cease right there. As I was watching Antonio ignoring the invitation and actually telling us that we were getting access, I remember thinking that taking a hooker as your “plus-one” to a family wedding might be better received than what AB was doing.
  • There have been conflicting reports that Brown was being paid for his infamous live feed on FB. If it’s true, I'd actually think that it wasn't Mark Zuckerburg financing it, but more like Joey Porter.
  • I have no problem with Mike Tomlin's language in AB's video. In fact, I didn't really think he needed to apologize for what he said in what he thought was the sanctity of his own locker room. I didn't expect him to say, "we spotted those fine gentleman a day-and-a-half." That's not firing anybody up.
  • Mike Tomlin addressed the situation publicly in a perfect manner. I respect his brutal honesty and stern warning to his star receiver. How it was addressed in private—and you know it was—is even more paramount. That part wasn't streamed live, so that's a positive.
  • I don't expect this controversy to carry over into the game at all. In fact, I expect Antonio Brown to have one of the best games of his life. He's not playing for his career, but he's going to bust his butt to save face.
  • Chris Boswell is definitely deserving of being officially named a Killer Bee. Although I'd rather see him booting six extra points this week, the ice water-veined Boswell is a great asset to have around.
  • Sunday's no-TD performance was the sixth time an NFL team won a post-season game in that manner. In the five other instances, the winner went on to play for the championship. History—you have my permission to repeat yourself.
  • Its nice to see Alejandro Villanueva nominated for the league's "Salute to Service" award. I can't see anyone else winning this year. A veteran not winning would be the equivalent of a gerbil taking Best-in-Show at the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show.
  • My Black-and-Gold gut has DHB coming up big this weekend.
  • Julian Edelman's comments alluding to the Steelers’ organization lacking class is much better bulletin-board material for the Steelers than Tomlin's comments were for the Patriots. Tomlin called them a name in private. Edelman besmirched the Rooneys. Big Ben stuck up for us verbally. But Deebo and Mitchell can handle this.
  • Ben Roethlisberger will forever have a winning legacy in this league, but he needs this game for complete validation as belonging in another stratosphere. Enough said.

And finally...

  • I wonder what Mike Merriweather is doing these days.

This is the part of the feature where I ramble off song lyrics for no reason. And I'm going to do so, but I’ll apologize first for completely changing the tone, and I'm going to precede it with a very personal and very un-random thought.

  • On a sad note, I feel compelled to mention and honor the one being that I've watched more Steelers games with than anyone else, ever. After 10 years of faithful companionship, I said goodbye on Friday 1/20/17 to my dachshund Polly, short for Polamalu. The name wasn't particularly accurate because she actually resembled Casey Hampton. Polly was beside me for every game that I watched at home and she knew the phrase "Touchdown Steelers" meant treats. She was with me in 2006 when the Steelers were losing 27-0 when my wife interrupted us with news of the impending birth of my first son. She saved the life of her brother, Heinz Ward Davis (misspelling intentional), by coming to us and alerting us Lassie-style that Heinz was choking on a chicken wing bone that we left loose after a victory over the Ravens. And just last week, I stood and held her up in my arms every time the Steelers needed a big play against the Chiefs. Through epic wins, crushing defeats and even a snoozer or two, that dog never left my side. As we watched her leave the vets office, she was wrapped in her Steelers blanket. I realize that this article is meant strictly for levity, but as we all have our hearts set on a Steelers Stairway to Seven, I needed to share with you, my cherished BTSC family, my aching heart for the loss of the furry little love of my life.

Until next week, I quote that great Steeler fan and lead singer of Poison with words of hope for the AFC Championship game with "Just like every night has its dawn." Take that for what it's worth (I am) and Go Steelers!